Compatibility Secrets for INFP and ISFP (From an INFP)

relationships can be hard there's no doubt about that but the thing is that we can use our cognitive functions and our personality type to improve our relationships and in this video we'll talk about infps and isfps so whether you are in a romantic relationship or it's an interaction with a family member or something like that you can use your personality type in order to talk directly to that person's mental iring and if you are able to do this you can smooth out relationships you can stop problems before they start and you can altogether live a more meaningful win-win relationship with the other person so let's get into it and in order to understand personality types better let's look at these three different questions that I'll be answering within this video number one is what are the core similarities and differences between infps and isfps next number two how can infps and sfps navigate potential conflicts and enhance communication and number three what are some strengths and unique dynamics of infp and isfp Partnerships so in order to talk about this we need to go into the cognitive functions so I lay out the cognitive functions in this way as in the Life domains um L is for logic I is for ideas F is for feelings and E is for experiences so in terms of the cognitive functions um if you are somewhat aware of those or if you know the four-letter type codes right INF FP I SFP well logic is the T thinking I intuiting is the n because we can't use another I because I is also for introverting so in NFP isfp is introverted intuitive feeling perceiving infp or introverted sense ing feeling perceiving within the four-letter codes for the um isfps next feelings feeling same thing um and experiences L experiences as sensing so I put it in this way because these are the four different domains of life that if you understand your eight cognitive functions and you understand these characters within your mental questing party then you can tackle each of these eight different light domains and pretty much every problem can be solved through understanding these cognitive functions and building better intrapersonal rapport with them as I dropped my phone my phone tried to run away wouldn't it be nice if you could communicate directly to what the other person wants based off how they make decisions and how they perceive the world that would solve a lot of problems right well one of the issues that comes when we're trying to do that is we are speaking through our own filters through our own Parts our own cognitive functions and this can create a lot of obstacles and struggles because what we think is clear to us is not clear to the other person and we expect them to do mind reading and we're mind reading on them and we can't do that none of us I think have developed telepathy yet and if you understand your cognitive functions then you can alter your communic iation in order to speak the same psychic language as the other person and that Smooths things out and unfortunately one of the burdens that comes from understanding personality type is it then is kind of on you to shape your communication to communicate in a way that they can understand if you don't know cognitive functions if you don't know personality type and you are in the the realm of well I am going to do me I'm going to act in my own way and other people need to understand that then uh well it's kind of selfish as well as it's not utilizing the power of cognitive functions to communicate in the same language as the other person like if you and I both speak English and I speak Japanese and I'm talking to somebody else who speaks English and Japanese and I'm only talking to them in Japanese despite all three of us understanding English that's unfair to you or the other person right we need to speak a shared language in order to communicate properly so let's dive into the cognitive functions here for the two different types uh over here I have our infp and isfp so we'll take both of these uh we'll make a copy of them so that we can talk about them without other people knowing all these other types are spying on us okay so okay within this you can see that there are some similarities within the colors and the symbols and the icons as well as some differences so we have first we both lead with our dominant function of introverted feeling introverted feeling is over here what I call the resonating Soul the resonating soul is that part within you that follows your conscience it's focused on internal values and ethics making decisions that resonate with you and your identity infps and isfps share that also some of the characteristics that usually come about from the soul from introverted feeling is authentic empathetic value driven and introspective you can see that both of these personality types really prize that we love that we need that if we don't do that then if we are not living into our soul our introverted feeling then we have a lot of stress and issues the good part of this is that both of us infps isfps can communicate through values through what is important to us and it's a bit of a a softer language as opposed to thinking which is more about objectives and data um feeling is making decisions based off how it resonates with you or how it impacts another person and so that is a good thing but it also creates some issues as well because not all people's values are the same and it's very difficult to Define them for most people most people have not gone through the infp master class and defined their values and given it words language feeling some sort of symbol a way of understanding what this intangible nominalization is and a nominalization is a noun that you cannot put in a wheelbarrow so an intangible noun dignity creativity health happiness what is that that my definition of that is different from yours and that is going to be one similarity but also a difference between infps and isfps is that they might not abide by the same values and another similarity is down here extroverted thinking the strategizing Commander is our inferior function or aspirational function as it's also called This is the realm of logic it's offensive though it's extroverted it's putting decisionmaking as you know an impersonal pursuit of what works into the outer World okay and it's saying what are the external systems that I need to set up in order to efficiently reach my goal um some of the characteristics are organized decisive goal oriented and structured so we both share this we both have commanders but they are again our inferior function so they are a struggle they're something that it is not easy for ifps to organize their life and probably money as well is going to be a struggle too because that's a resource and managing resources is not something that either type is generally good at unless we've learned to do it through experience or through our upbringing which is also experience now some of the differences our our auxiliary function and tertiary function are going to be different because INF FP is an intuitive type and isfp is a sensing type and our dominant function is introverted feeling the whole so that means that the way that we see the world is fundamentally different it's like the uh what is that called the the saying or the story about a bunch of blind men touching an elephant and one's touching the foot one's touching a trunk one's touching an ear one's touching the tail or whatever a Tusk and they're reporting different things that's what's happening with infps and isfps is the lens that we are seeing the world through is different our decision-making process is the same although it is shaped by different values likely that causes some issues the infp has their auxiliary function as extroverted intuiting and isfp is as extroverted sensing so if we look at both of those um EX verted intuiting for the infp this is ideas idea space intuiting connecting the dots in the external World outside of yourself it's external pattern recognition and looking for potential connections and opportunities and possibilities some of the characteristics are Innovative idea generating spontaneous exploratory so the Explorer character within the infp is like a a mentally like character where it's someone that a part of us that we like that we need that we listen to someone who is generating a bunch of ideas and we're like yeah this person knows what they're talking about I like this um whereas for someone who doesn't have that as their auxiliary function or within their their first two um likely we will see it as you know get your head out of the clouds slow down you're a mad scientist you know um isfps use extroverted sensing the engaging Adventurer as their auxiliary function and so this is the sensory realm this is perceiving the world through your senses and specifically what can I immediately right now engage with and this is external sensory information and the present moment gives the most of that so being focused on the Here and Now adventurous spontaneous detail aware and handson so how we are dealing with the world comes infps through imagining many different possibilities different new um mental spaces different places that we can put our heart into different stories um and the isfp is engaging as the engaging Soul as I call isfps they're putting themselves into different physical contexts to express themselves to learn about themselves as well again infp is the innovating soul is doing this through idea space not present reality so that causes miscommunication quite often one person wants the other person to think about you know what things could be what if we did this what are the possibilities and the other is saying well what can we actually act on what can we do right now get some feedback and and see what happens from there and the tertiary function for infps innovating soul is introverted sensing so this is where we get our sensing realm and our experiences and isfps is um introverted intuiting so let's again look at those slide over here we'll stick with infps first again we have the tertiary function is a is a childish and childlike function this is the sidekick of our mental questing party this is the part of us that uh is kind of weak it's like Scrappy do and then it it Puffs itself up and says okay you know I'm going to handle this I'm going to deal with this and uh it's manic it's got ups and downs and and introverted sensing the stabilizing Guardian as I call it the guardian is this character that's focused on internal past experiences things that you've done that you have been able to reflect over that you can ruminate over experiences memories and with that comes uh facts many times like remembering um statistics of baseball cards and things like that things that are important to you um but also this is It's a weakness it's a weak point so it's not necessarily going to be the strongest aspect some characteristics that come from the guardian are detail oriented reliable traditional and memory focused now if you're an infp and you don't re resonate with that then that's fine because it is your tertiary function it's not one of your core strings but is a place of stress relief and if we go up to inverted intuiting for the isfps we have the visioning Mystic the Mystic is that character that is focused on internal insights and future possibilities so the Mystic is pattern recognizing within the unconscious mind within yourself instead of extroverted intuiting the Explorer saying take this thing and take this thing put them together and what could it be oh it's a iPhone stand it's actually clothing clip right in an iPhone but you know there are different possible uses for the thing introverted intuiting though the Mystic is looking at things differently within the unconscious mind it's reframing things and again it's a tertiary function so it's a place that we go to for relief but it's not really our main strength we got to listen to our Mentor some of the characteristics that come from the Mystic are Visionary abstract thinker insightful foresighted so when an infp gets really stressed out we go into our past we go into our physical comfort zone what did I do before and you know how can I do more of that if it was a good thing or how can I completely avoid that if it was a negative thing and just trust what is familiar what I have experienced before um for isfps in a a stressed out mode this is is going into mindreading other people and saying well what are they thinking about or this is why they did this thing and it's attaching meaning in a often slightly paranoid way to what other people are doing and and they're talking about me behind my back and those kind of thoughts that are projected onto another person based off your own psyches understanding and patterns and the key solution to all of that is to lean into your menant or lean into your auxiliary function infps is extroverted intuiting put yourself into different contexts and capture those patterns understand the uh The Meta view of everything how do all these things connect together and how does that Define me as a person isfps is to physically do things that are outside of your comfort zone to physically be present like if you are worried about what other people are thinking or saying and you can interact with them then you should physically interact with them in the present moment and pick up on the actual physical cues so that you can get a clearer understanding um but also put yourself into you know physical expressions of yourself whether it's drumming or music or um dance or art some sort of physical expression of your soul as opposed to infps usually uh and of course it can be physical it can be non-physical for both of these but infps will likely gravitate more towards written word and metaphors as a way of self- expression so those are some of the similarities and differences between inps and isfps and how can infps and isfps navigate potential conflict and enhance communication because understanding the differences is the first step but then actually applying those is the next step and if you can't do that or you don't do that then it's wasted knowledge you're not doing anything with the information then and that doesn't actually solve you it just kind of feels good to learn about it and it does feel good to learn about it it's fun but putting it into practice is how you exponentially change your relationship so some of the best practices for enhancing communication and navigating potential conflicts is to focus one on introverted feeling both of you share this both of us share this but make sure that you are communicating what is really going on inside of you both introverted feeling is not an expressive State it's not an expressive part of yourself this character is like it keeps its its feelings hidden because they're vulnerable and it's not extroverted feeling it's introverted feeling so it's what's going on inside of you and it is very self-focused and one issue that comes up a lot is not communicating that is hoping or assuming that the other person will understand it because you feel it or because you did this micro expression of it um and making sure that you communicate that is one of the biggest things that you can do and it's hard but hopefully in that relationship whatever kind of a relationship it is there are the Dynamics that allow open expression the next thing is to focus on the auxiliary functions infp the Explorer isfp the adventurer so when you have a miscommunication you can likely assume that it's due to that you can likely assume the infp is way too into the ideas and the possibilities of what it could be and the isfp is focused on what is happening right now and not actually connecting the patterns and and understanding where is this leading to or what could this be and so that miscommunication is something that now because you're watching this video you can understand better and you can shape your approach to fit them if you're an infp it is your responsibility then to communicate in a more sensory way and as an isfp it is your responsibility to communicate in a more intuitive way because you can't expect the other person to change well we can expect it but it like won't happen so taking that burden on ourselves and saying okay if I want to get something positive out of this a win-win relationship then it's up to me to adjust my Approach and I know that'll probably get some push back because it always does and yet it is one of the biggest hacks I suppose or mindset shifts that I've had that has helped me in all of my relationships in life is speaking the language of the other person and it's not easy it's hard enough for us to get into our auxiliary function in a real meaningful in-depth way because it pushes us into the extroverted world we like it but it's you know we got a couple one trick pony type things and it's not a full scale of all these different skill sets within it usually unless we've spent intentional time developing it and then doing extroverted sensing for an infp or extroverted intuiting for an isfp is quite difficult but you're not here because you expect life to be easy I don't think you're here because you want to understand how to make it easier and understanding cognitive functions is one key way of doing that and again remember one of the issues that both of us have is our tertiary function and so when we get stressed out infps are going to go into that physical comfort zone isfps are going to go into uh idea space and in a way of like predicting and the unconscious mind and mind reading so creating time for both of you to have that intentionally to use this part of yourself infp is to use the guardian go watch some nostalgic movies listen to some songs that you like from the past go to a place go to a restaurant that you've been to so many times that you know the whole menu and you only eat one thing but you still know the whole menu there a way of stress relief isfps take some time to be with your unconscious mind whether it's doing yoga and allowing your body to be occupied as your mind is free to mle over insights or meditation or self hypnosis or just go in for a walk without being in a fully um activated engaged present way but all allowing those kind of shower thoughts to come up is going to be really helpful for you because if if you don't allow these different characters to come out then they will force themselves out and you don't want that especially for this guy down here the commander the commander is going to be a a place of likely anger or micromanagement physical expression of how do I get this thing really fast how do I get people off my back really fast well anger is one way of doing that so then you know it comes out and then the problem is solved because the other person doesn't generally like anger and they go away okay but that's not a an appropriate way right assertiveness is good but anger is not necess necessarily uh one of the the best tools in my opinion as an anyag Type n also another place of mutual struggle is likely going to be keeping your life organized so good luck with that one if that's your relationship you got to get somebody who is good at that to help set you up or both focus on it make it a a date activity to plan your life sounds fun number three what are some strengths and unique dynamics of infp and isfp Partnerships one thing that's becoming more and more popular right now in terms of like business is having two people who have slightly different personality types that are working together to make a a company um and you know maybe infps and isfps are not too focused on that but that is uh current Trend you can think of like uh the horos hor hormos I couldn't pronounce his name right uh Eep and Pagan and Annie Pagan as well um I think there are tons um even not in like a sexual relationship but like Nicholas Cole and Dicky bush from ship 30 for30 like they both have different personality types and they work together to create something that is better than one of them could do and so for infps and isfps there are some similarities of course main big similarities with introverted feeling and extroverted thinking but also um there are some differences in there so having the infp generate a bunch of ideas and then the isfp put it into practice and see what happens instead of the infp endlessly thinking about it and not actually taking any action on it the isfp can can apply it and get some feedback and then the infp can think of some more ideas for it and how to uh you know maybe even capture what worked well in the past through introverted sensing add a little splash of that and say okay we did this before or you did this before and uh you know how can we Implement more of that then brainstorm some more ideas and take some more action the isfp also will likely get some long-term insights into where the thing is going where the practical application of this could lead now again that's both within the tertiary function so it's not going to be one of the biggest like strongest suits but it is something that we kind of both like to do we like to go into our tertiary function it's safe and it's also a place of um shared Comfort within the relationship too the infp is likely going to want to create some sort of familiar routine and the isfp is like going to want to um engage with your soul and delve into your soul and like kind of really get to understand what is making you you deep down and that's good for both it's good for both parties so we took this huge highlevel look at infp and isfp Dynamics and we went into the cognitive functions and we talked about how those interplay with each other and some of the conflicts as well as some of the Ben benefits that can come from that remember that one of the core lessons that I've learned in my life that I really want you to just take on and try it for a while is to make it your responsibility to adjust the communication within the conversation and intentionally using that as a strength like saying well this is a an ability that I have now and once you practice with that more you're going to be able to activate it more easily and if you go talk to like an entj or something like that you can communicate more with extroverted thinking and introverted intuiting in a way that gets your point across has them understand it as well and leads to a a better interaction between both of you and if you're really interested in how to use the cognitive functions better within yourself and develop better intrapersonal Rapport within you so that you have these eight different Frameworks for L problem solving idea generation Solutions abound everywhere go to p. geek psychology.com get the path of Heroes Academy class and you will learn about these different cognitive functions you'll create characters for them as well as you will have practical missions real life exercises and activities that you can do to develop these different characters more as well as hypnosis tracks to make it all easier if that's something that you're into and plus it's gamified so it's quite fun as well and if you're not ready for that you can check out the videos over there to learn a bit more and then you can go get it when you are ready all right good luck have fun peace