جلسات #مع_نفسي 19 ... إعاقة روحية ... أمراض قلوب ... مُخرجات نفسية ... حجاب شرعي

Dr Abdul Rahman: Hello. The Host: Hello Doctor. Dr Abdul Rahman: Last session’s ending was rather dramatic, wasn’t it? The Host :Yes, regarding that dramatic ending then,

I had a question but it wasn't suitable to ask. We talked about psychological disability Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, physical and spiritual disabilities The Host: Spiritual, pardon me, and I was thinking about how we represent people with psychological illnesses Dr Abdul Rahman: Can I first comment about something you just said? The Host: Go ahead. Dr Abdul Rahman: When you said “Psychological disability- I mean spiritual disability” When the term “psychological” is used,

it usually only refers to the spiritual part, and this is an important point: “Spiritual therapy” is unfortunately only being used in the context of

sitting in a dark place with a bright candle and a person doing this

or with rosary beads,etc. Whereas if you were to go back to

old traditional Islamic books, you will find the title, “Spiritual Medicine”

or what they call today: Psychiatry So if you talk about any part that isn’t clearly related to the body, then we’re talking about the spiritual part. When we refer to the self we usually refer to that part,

so there is no issue with saying psychological disability. The mic is yours. The Host: I told myself, since we laid out the details,

Let’s focus now. The example you mentioned last time

was quite impactful, Dr Abdul Rahman: There are many such examples in our daily life. The Host: Yes, what I got from it is that: true disability

is spiritual disability rather than physical disability Dr Abdul Rahman: Exactly, exactly. The Host: Now people who have psychological disorders

or more specifically, someone who acts unjustly, for instance, we call that a spiritual disability, or someone who is greedy etc. Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, there's a beautiful term for that in our Islamic tradition.

It's called diseases of what? The Host: Diseases of The Heart. Dr Abdul Rahman: Diseases of The Heart. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: The term “psychological disorders” nowadays refers to

disorders as classified by the West, but if we use the broader term: “diseases of the heart”

it can encompass arrogance, vanity, pride, envy, malice etc. Nowadays, a person can be extremely arrogant & abusive

and still be productive at work, If you were to take him to a psychiatrist

he would label him as healthy, and ask “Why is he here?” Since according to the materialistic Western medical standards: As long as he is productive he is fine. Some of those who come to my clinic,

his wife complains that he smokes weed every day. When I meet him he tells me: “Why is she mad?

as long as I go to work everyday, and run my business successfully.” He’s right.

But when will that be debunked? When he runs out of weed.. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: But he’s a millionaire with an endless supply of weed. So the materialistic standards are unrelated to our standards, such a person has a heart disease. He has a heart disease amongst other things. So this is a comment on the part about the spiritual, and psychological. The Host: I mean we can label these people as

psychologically disabled individuals. Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes. The Host: Can such individuals be excused?

I mean someone who is greedy or envious towards others. Dr Abdul Rahman: What do you mean by “be excused”? The Host: I mean since he is disabled- Dr Abdul Rahman: No, I mean afterwards, excuse them and

then what? Fawn over them? The Host: We just ignore him, for example. Dr Abdul Rahman: No! To “give excuses to someone” means that we treat them

the way they deserve and understand why they behave like that. This is called being excused. If someone with a physical disability

were to be excused, do I let them stay paralysed forever

and not provide them with physiotherapy? and teach them to be independent? Is this how it is? The Host: Of course not. Dr Abdul Rahman: Therefore when a spiritually disabled person has a problem, I excuse them by feeling sympathetic. There’s a beautiful poem attributed to Al-Shafi'i: “If a lowly man insults me then I am only raised in rank

and there is no wrong except if I were to retort. And were not myself dear to me

I would have set it upon every lowly man.” Look at his values, it’s the opposite of our state today.

Today they tell you to put people in their place argue back, but here he says the total opposite

because he values his self, he doesn’t stoop to that level “And were not myself dear to me

I would have set it upon every lowly man.” What does he say in the end? “But I strive to benefit my comrade,

It’s a shame of the full man if his companion starved” He considers this spiritually disable person

is in need of a helping hand to rid him of his disability. This is how we excuse:

To realize that this person is afflicted. It doesn’t mean we excuse them and that’s it! There is another important point;

the physically disabled person is forced to be in that state. The Host: Correct. Dr Abdul Rahman: It’s against their will, but you chose to be spiritually disable. You chose to not to think straight,

you chose to not strive to purify yourself. So you are not excused for that,

and you’ll stand before Allah. But Allah will not hold you accountable for

cardiac deficiency, or a peptic ulcer, or an amputated arm,

you won’t be held accountable for that. Rather, you could be raised in ranks with this affliction,

what matters is the state of the soul. I hope the matter is clear. The Host: The fact that the self is composed of body & soul

is important, but we also need to understand how is this related to creationism?

We should talk about creationism now. Dr Abdul Rahman: We said that all this will lead us to creationism. Do you remember your question a couple of sessions ago?

“What is the first thing to read about myself?” We said the first thing you should know is that you are a created being.

A creature composed of a body and a soul. Here we should remember something,

“Are we done with “Iqra’” (Read)? We started with “Iqra’” and existence, and want to reach creationism The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: There is one thing left, let me actually test you,

What is left? Do you remember what things from “Iqra’”

we have not covered yet? The Host: We talked about existence and creationism. Dr Abdul Rahman: No, do you remember what was Iqra’s trilogy? The Host: We said inputs, processes… Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, inputs. The Host: We are left with outputs. Dr Abdul Rahman: So we covered inputs. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: We talked a lot about it, then the processes;

sensing, thinking, and reasoning. What is left? The Host: Outputs. Dr Abdul Rahman: Excellent. The outputs will sum up everything we said and take us to creationism Do you remember what the outputs are? Thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

What does this mean? Didn't the input enter? The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: Didn't the processes take place?

Now we automatically have outputs. People think the output is just the behaviour,

That's the last thing. Before that there was a thought,

that led to a feeling which led to a behavior. The Host: Isn’t the thought part of the process? Dr Abdul Rahman: No, the thought is a result. The Host: Oh. Dr Abdul Rahman: The processes are: sensing, thinking, and reasoning,

based on them you produce thoughts, This is what we call “conceptualization”,

especially in Islamic studies they call it “conceptualization” The Host: Aha. Dr Abdul Rahman: Conceptualization is the product of a process,

so the thought is a product of a process. Which process? The Host: Thinking. Dr Abdul Rahman: Thinking produced a thought. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: This thought is followed by a feeling. Let me give you an example

from our current sessions, Perhaps when you saw me on the first day

you had questions about my outfit. The Host: Of course. Dr Abdul Rahman: So what did you think? “Weird. Why is he dressed like this?”

You inherently feel uneasiness, unclarity. The Host: Curiosity. Dr Abdul Rahman: Your behaviour was: silence. When you asked and learned the backstory,

you realized something different. Thus the thought changed, followed by a change in feelings

and naturally the behavior changed! What is the importance of this? The thought, feeling and behavior will combine two concepts

we talked about previously: "Iman”(Faith), -didn't we talk about how reasoning and faith

play an important role in psychological well-being? Another important factor in psychological health,

that’s also important in self-purification, About which I always say: it’s the secret key to a person’s happiness.. The Host: What is it? Dr Abdul Rahman: A word composed of three letters “Sidq” (Honesty) How is thought, feeling and behavior related to

psychological well-being, honesty and faith? What is faith?

Belief and action, correct? The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: A thought and a behavior.

And the feeling? Serenity. The Host: So that is the product? Dr Abdul Rahman: Thought - Feeling - Behaviour. What do we do in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

We work on thoughts and behaviors to fix the feeling. Most people who visit the clinic,

come for the feeling. “Doctor, I’m sad, or angry, or anxious, etc.”

All about feelings. I don’t work on fixing their feelings, you can’t simply alter them. You work on the leading thought and on the behavior through practical tasks Feelings are then besieged,

and can be healed by these two, is that clear? The Host: Beautiful. Dr Abdul Rahman: This is what CBT is all about. You will be surprised when I tell you that Ibn Al-Qayim has a quote

from nearly 700 years ago that summarizes CBT (Thought-Behaviour). He says:

“The beginning of theoretical capacity of awareness”,

[which is the thought] “and practical capacity”,

[which is the behavior] "is ideas and thoughts”

[things & inputs that you encounter etc.] "They cause conceptualizations

and conceptualizations lead to will” [Conceptualization which is the thought you have

and will is the feeling and impulse] “and will necessitates action”

[which is the behavior] “and repeating that many times”

[this behavior] leads to what? "produces a habit”

What is a habit?

A repeated behavior. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: "Therefore, the correctness of these steps is

according to the correctness of ideas and thoughts and their corruption is according to their corruption” This way he summarized the entire story.

Do you want to fix your feelings and behavior? Fix the ideas and thoughts

Control the inputs and conceptualize correctly. "And their corruption is according to their corruption”

How is this related to our talk? We said faith consists of what?

The definition that has the consensus of scholars of the Ummah: "It’s the belief of the heart and the action of the limbs” The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: It is a belief, a correct concept,

a feeling of serenity and tranquility, and a behaviour. What happens is that we might have “belief”,

i.e. a person studies and goes to school, etc. but he does not put it all to good use.

That’s useless. Actions should match- One of the things I criticize our youth for these days,

is that some of them might say: “I love Allah”, then if you ask if he prays he says:

“Honestly I don’t pray.” What type of love is this?

“I love Him but is it necessary to pray?” Allah commands us if we love him,

then you have to do as He says, “No! I love Allah but I want to worship Him my way” Not even your parents would accept such love.

If you told your mom “I love you but when you ask me to bring something from the market I won't do it,

but I love you.” That’s unacceptable!

As the famous hadith goes: “The most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me,

is what I have enjoined upon him.” Both: "Enjoined upon him” Dr Abdul Rahman: So you do what Allah tells you to do. Faith includes all this. One important question remains;

How is this related to tranquility and honesty? A common slang term frequently used amongst people

and even with psychiatrists, which is? “To be in harmony with oneself”,

What does it mean to be in harmony with oneself? It means that your thoughts, feelings and behaviour,

are in harmony. I will give you some examples to clarify; If the thought, feeling and behaviour are all positive

regarding a certain matter, then he is in harmony in this part. For example, a person has a positive outlook

on smoking. What do I mean by positive? Positive towards smoking. What does that mean?

For example, the person would say: Smoking is a symbol of manhood.

His feelings towards smoking would be positive. And his behaviour?

He smokes. He smokes or at least he doesn’t mind

hanging around smokers. Is this person in harmony with himself? The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: He is in harmony, but is he psychologically well? I said in harmony, meaning that his external reflects what’s inside, Someone else conceptualizes smoking negatively,

what would his feelings be? Repulsed. The Host: Of course. Dr Abdul Rahman: What does he have to do in order to be harmonious

with himself? Stay away from smokers and smoking. Anyone with a inconsistency between

thought, feeling and behaviour will be in dissonance. Thought: Negative view on smoking

Feeling: Repulsed by it,

but sits amongst smokers. In the end he will feel guilty, The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: Another example for the ladies.

Thought: Hijab is a good thing. The Host: Good. Dr Abdul Rahman: Feelings: Positive, To be in harmony with her behaviour she.. The Host: wears the hijab.. Dr Abdul Rahman: Either wears the hijab,

or at least surrounds herself with hijabis. Someone else with negative thoughts about the Hijab

“It’s backwardness and old-fashion” What would her feelings be? The Host: Repulsed by it. Dr Abdul Rahman: And in order to be in harmony with herself? The Host: She avoids wearing it. Dr Abdul Rahman: She does not wear it! Someone else with negative thoughts and feelings

and is wearing the hijab. What would happen? We will see the same phenomena we see on the streets nowadays.

What she’ll be wearing won’t be described as a hijab! One of the sheikhs used to say: “Her upper body is an Islamic channel

and her lower body is a non-Islamic channel” Why? Because in reality she is conflicted

between her thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Here someone might say: “Do you mean that a harmonious immodest woman,

is better than the one that wears hijab and struggles? I said in she’s in harmony,

not that she is psychologically healthy! For example, a woman who wears the hijab as a behaviour

in order to train the thought and feeling and correct them: She will be rewarded, and gradually the behaviour

will positively feed the thoughts, to the point where she becomes in harmony:

thought, feeling, and behaviour. What is important is

to understand what honesty means. How do scholars define honesty?

It’s the consistency between what’s outside and inside. The Host: Yes. Dr Abdul Rahman: Thought - Feeling - Behaviour One question remains:

Can someone be in total harmony all the time? Of course not. Take me for an example. The Host: How? Dr Abdul Rahman: How? My thoughts and feelings towards junk food are negative,

but sometimes I eat junk food. The Host: What is junk food? Dr Abdul Rahman: It’s the fast food and what not. So I am in dissonance in this aspect,

but that does not mean I’m in dissonance in everything, because you wouldn't be human if you were in total harmony!

We must have a few things with which we are in dissonance. That’s the summary of outputs

and their relation to faith from one aspect, and to psychological well-being, honesty,

and self harmony from another aspect. What is required of us? To always improve ourselves

regarding the thought - feeling - behaviour. To read, surround ourselves with solid scientific content,

and a behaviour that positively influences our thoughts. That’s it in short. By this, I think we covered everything related to

“Iqra’” and next we will dive into creationism. The Host: Creationism. Dr Abdul Rahman: Starting tomorrow in sha’ Allah. The Host: In sha’ Allah, thank you. Dr Abdul Rahman: May the peace & blessings of Allah be upon you. The Host: Peace be upon you too.