Why Doing More Still Feels Like Not Enough

in my traveler's notebook, this current insert. And I go through these every 2-3 months or so with all my thoughts, my journal entries. And normally here, I will draw a symbol to represent my intentions, reflections, and patterns that have emerged. And this time, I felt compelled to draw the symbol for guilt. That is like this weighing down effect right here, right? And also has this eye that is always watching us. >> [laughter] >> Because guilt is often external. You think about the nature of guilt. It's like we're not meeting a particular standard, and therefore, we feel this heaviness within us. The right books and authors have a way of finding me right when I need them. In this case, I was listening to the audio book of The Four Agreements on the way back from a wilderness solo. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from [music] moment to moment. It will be different when you're healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your [music] best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. This particular chapter really resonated with me because I've always been a very ambitious person with a lot of goals in life, a lot of initiatives, a lot of um energy to live. And often, people like me are our own worst enemies in the way that we're our our biggest criticizer uh critics. A lot of things we say to ourselves, we wouldn't say to anyone else. And for me, I always carry this guilt of not doing enough or not being enough. I'm finding this really bubbling up because over the last 3 months, I've done so much compared to the last couple years, and so much ground has been covered. Yet, I'm finding that I am hungrier than ever. I it it [music] gets to a point where sometimes you go through life when you have these seasons of of massive expansion. Everything's happening, and suddenly, things start slowing down. And because you're used to this level of action as well as progress, that anything that is taking a pause or slowing down feels like a regression. Especially in today's world where we're expected to grow 24/7, 365. We are so disconnected from the seasons to this extent that any slowness feels like we're plateauing. Doing your best means doing no more, no less. That's really important because if we do not enough, we'll come with a sense of regret. And if we do too much, that could also come with a sense of resentment. When we are doing our best, no more, no less, we solve this problem of guilt. Because if we are always doing our best, no more, no less, then there's nothing to be guilty about. I really need this reminder as I get back into content, as I step into a role of a community leader here in Austin. I'm not always going to feel 100%. Sometimes I'm going to be going off the bandwagon a bit. I'm not always going to be able to show up the way I want to with people. Or have the time to go to every single birthday party or social. And that's okay. And then there are other times I am going to sleep like eat like or not go to the calisthenics gym and do my pull-ups. And that's okay, too. And finally, there times I'm not going to feel like, you know, sharing my thoughts and my tools and my tips here on YouTube or on Substack. And that's really it. There's a difference between always do your best versus always trying your best. I want to live in more of a do rather than a try. Because if I'm trying, it takes away from my presence. It's always like I'm I'm trying to chase a particular standard. But if I'm doing my best, then there's this feeling of being. It's this concept of performance versus presence, or presence versus performance. And these days, I try to lean much more into my presence in the way that I I show up for people or in content, and just be myself. And these are the things that have resonated with me, and all I'm doing is sharing them with you. There is no performance. I'm just talking to you as a as one individual human being to another human being. And that's all there is to it. Thank you for joining me on this forest meditation spot that we got. I'm literally here. Uh I was supposed to go for a podcast interview, but it got postponed, so I decided to come into the forest and meditate a little bit. All right, guys. Take care now.