An Interesting Love Story | The Basement Yard #557

Welcome back to the base. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. Your first Hawaiian of the year, I think. >> Literally not. I think I've worn another ones. I not paying attention. >> Yeah, it's all right. It's me, Frank Alvarez here with Ant, Ant Prisco, how are you? And Cookie Monster. Oh, I was like I thought you were calling him Cookie Monster. No, that would be you cuz I'm wearing the color blue. You're blue abadee abadee. I'm just wearing a blue sweater, you bastard. >> It's very And the blue hat. It's very blue. >> a matching hat as well. Yeah, but first of all, if we're getting specific, you're not matching. If you really want to do it, it's called different tones. I don't care. It doesn't It doesn't adhere to what I believe matching is. >> Correct. So, it doesn't It's not real. >> Correct. But I am matching quite nicely. And Ant said >> Oh, it's cuz I complimented him. >> Ant said, right before we started recording, he looked at me and he goes, "Very aesthetically pleasing outfit you're wearing." Nice. Yeah, it was nice. You're Cookie Monster. >> [laughter] >> So, Okay. >> when you get a compliment >> What's wrong with being Cookie Monster? When you get >> He's a great member of the Sesame Street gang. >> If you're trying to make fun of me, let's get that out of the way, too. >> I'm trying to acknowledge that you are >> you a compliment and instead of paying that forward, the good energy, you're like, "I'm going to take a big steamy corny poop on Joe's head." >> See, why did you do that? You knew what you were doing by bringing up the corn. Fecal matter. Oh. Need it be so [ __ ] abhorrent and disgusting? Listen, I don't I'm not the one who doesn't digest corn. Actually, I am. Apparently, the world is. >> I didn't decide that is my point. That was God. >> I The issue is not with the corn digestion part of it. Whatever, God. Yeah. I love how you did that. That was very nice. >> Every God. Cookie Monster, though. There's no issue like you're tying something negative to being called Cookie Monster. What's wrong with that? >> I was paying attention to the tone. No, we don't have to. >> I'll try it again. Here's what I said. I'm here with Cookie Monster. I didn't go, "I'm here with Cookie Monster." I mean, we know. We know you. I'm here with Cookie Monster. >> Okay, that would be even weirder. >> Why? >> I don't know, that was terrifying. >> [ __ ] you. You wouldn't get excited to see Cookie Monster? I am 34. Some parts of life I'll tell you this. >> He's with you. Cookie Monster, whatever. I'm telling you this right now. If Big Bird walked in here, I'd be [ __ ] scared. Bro, a legitimately Big Bird. Huge. >> [ __ ] bird. >> ass bird. And I think what makes Big Bird look bigger, because it might be one of those things where like it's she he she he she I'm not quite sure what >> Big Bird's pronouns are is so big but it looks bigger because the [ __ ] what's it called? Bro, that's huge. >> [ __ ] big ass bird, dude. [snorts] >> Huge, dude. Let's get the height. Can we get the height? Can we get the measurements? >> measurements of Big Bird? >> What's his 40? I mean, got to be like 7 ft tall. 8'2" >> Dude, 8'2" Big Bird is 8'2"? See what I'm saying? Big Bird is crazy. That's a big ass bird, dude. >> [ __ ] what? >> And then Wembanyama couldn't stop Big Bird. Ooh. >> Probably could. He probably could. >> Probably could. You know not to you Speaking of You're speaking of his God. You are the biggest rider for Wemby. Bro, Big Bird is [ __ ] backing Wembanyama down, flying in the air, and dunking on his French head. If you Is he French? >> Yeah. God. Um Quite quite French. Okay. Yeah. I'm taking Big Bird in a basketball game. Obviously, he's not going to beat an actual basketball star. But like Beat me. Probably has a jump a jumper. Wait. He's got crazy eyes, dude. I don't [ __ ] with >> Go back to the Big Bird like the anatomy of Big Bird. Big Bird do be playing basketball. Is Big Bird balling up? >> What could you possibly have looked up at that moment? >> Big Bird playing basketball. He was He was dunking with Elmo. See? >> Oh, see? Elmo >> like a little [ __ ] >> Elmo ooh, I don't like that. I don't like that. >> Isn't he small? I definitely is small, but I don't know if that's part of the Big Bird thing. But also how because of the arms? Like he moves another arm. >> No, bro. First of all, this is off of Reddit, so take it with a [ __ ] I think it's a dumb trunk of salt. I think it's pretty accurate. Could be. I mean, is it? Is Big Bird's right arm not moving ever? I guess. Well, it looks like it's on a a dual swing here. >> There's a pulley system of sorts going on inside this Big Bird. >> it has to work like this. The person in the costume's not 8-ft. Yeah, duh. >> Yeah, but I imagine it would be something Don't you dare point your fingers at me. >> point. I kind of did one of those. I I assumed it was going to be hands, hands, feet, feet, and then the mouth is on like a a jaw system. >> like a jaw system, so it talks with me. Yeah, I don't know. >> That would make the most sense. >> thought that this dude would just be on stilts in there. But yo, go back to the Google. Okay. Well, yeah, the other >> The The [laughter] one of Big Bird, though. >> Yeah, dude. There was a picture of him standing next to a man. If you exit out of that. Exit out of what? Of the picture, like click the X. There's a picture of him standing next to a man. Where is it? Down. To the right. Where was it? >> No, never mind. Never mind. I can't find it. I don't know. It [ __ ] disappeared. Big Bird is a giant ass bird. I love I love Elmo, though. Why do you call Elmo a [ __ ] >> He's small. He's not 8-ft 2. Yeah, that in that regard, little. I never really got into Sesame Street. It It not something that was ever on in my house, to be honest. It wasn't on, but like it was one of those brands that just like went further than the show. I'm sure I watched it as a little kid, but like I feel like I saw more of Sesame Street characters and never watched the actual like program. >> Did you learn from TV at all? Like you know how that's like it's it's meant to teach you stuff. >> Brother, there was [ __ ] I took from Magic School Bus. >> Magic School Bus is a good one. 100%. >> Magic School Bus. We all had some Magic School Bus. >> I I knew what blood vessels were because of that. >> Yeah, I remember when they like in the stomach muscles. >> What's the thing? No, white blood like white blood cells. Oh, blood cells, yeah. >> Yeah, yeah. And like white blood cell, red blood cell, there's that episode. >> learned from Osmosis Jones. That's a good one, too. That's a good one, but also that movie's filthy disgusting. Yeah. Bill Murray's like sneezing up a storm. Is it Bill Murray or Chris Elliott? It's Bill Murray. Okay. Disgusting. >> What was he dying from? Oh, all of it? [ __ ] sneezing. And also there I remember specifically the only reason why I know what this thing is called is because of Osmosis Osmosis Jones. Where it's like, "Oh, you got to head to the uvula." And he's like, "What's that?" And he's like, "It's a little dangly thing." And he And he goes, "In his boxer shorts." And he turns the car to go towards the [ __ ] And then he's like, "No, it's in his it's in his throat." Oh, I prefer the uh That's the story. >> the mid-2000s masterpiece Monster House, the joke that they made. What's Monster House? It was like a a haunted house movie with like animated kids that look They had like the issue where like they look like they're from the Polar Express. It's terrifying. But he was like, "Oh, it's the house's uvula." And he's like, "I thought it was a boy." He's thinking vulva. >> Vulva. I mean, a very common mistake that people >> Frank? Tell me what a vulva is. Uh a German car. Volvo. Is that German even? Are they German? But what's a vulva? Tell us. It's in the vaginal like in it's in the it's at the house. I don't know what room it is, but it's in It's on the property. If you had to Let's all guess what the vulva is. >> what's funny is one of the first episodes we did Let's guess what the vulva is. All right, sorry. >> on track here. >> try. Yeah. It's one of the like Here we go. Well, why don't you start? Well, no. I'm I'm hosting. Do you know? Honestly, do you know? Of course. Mhm. So, then tell us. >> Everyone knows what that is, Frankie. You have to say it. Not yet. >> [laughter] >> Nice try. I will be 100% honest in if I knew it or not. Tell us what it is. No, that's not what we're doing. >> it. Do it. >> We're all going to say what we think it is. >> All right, at the same time we're all going to say. >> No, we're not. Yes, we are. >> Frankie, hot seat, hot seat, hot seat. >> Yeah, why am I put on the hot seat here? I'm the co-host. >> Exactly, and I'm asking the question. Who else is going to answer? >> the company. He's pulling that card on me. You saw that? Not how that works. >> I think I think this is exactly how it works. >> If you don't want to answer, you don't have to. I think I will answer, but I'm not going to answer because >> Okay, moving on. What else we have to talk about? And what what what what do you think the vulva is? >> Frank, we're asking you. >> Now I don't think you actually know what it is. If you had to guess. I'm just asking you to guess. >> I I I'm not You know what? I'm not quite sure. I am not >> And it is that He's right. >> [laughter] >> He already >> what? Actually, evidently I am not quite there. >> I I am not there. I would I know it's What do you know about it? >> Mhm. I know the general area. Down. Down in the Like I can give you the I can I can narrow it down to like a A square meter. >> A square That's big. >> [laughter] >> A big meter. >> Yeah. A square foot. >> He's already saying words like inside and in, so Well, I think that there is an opening. On a woman? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, [laughter] we know that. >> Yeah, duh. Yeah, yeah. Um these like these specific uh Just point. Point. Yeah. Dead center or Yeah. I mean >> [laughter] >> Right. Wow. Wow. Okay, good. You have a guess? No, no, no. >> [laughter] >> You're doing a hook YOU'RE DOING A HOOKING THING. >> NO, NO, I was I was trying to like mimic. You were trying to mimic mimic. So, vulva. Yeah. It's Up. Might be thinking labia. Right. Okay, what's the labia? That's the outside thing. I think. The outside thing I think Yeah. >> is something >> He's looking it up. He's looking it up. He's looking it up. HE'S CHEATING. HE'S CHEATING. [laughter] HE'S CHEATING. HE'S CHEATING. HE'S CHEATING. HE'S CHEATING. HE'S CHEATING. HE'S LOOKING IT UP. HE'S CHEATING. I'm absolutely not. He's cheating. He's looking [laughter] it I wouldn't look up the ex- external genitalia encompassing [laughter] all visible parts between the legs including the mons pubis, labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, vaginal opening, urethral opening. You think I would look that up? I knew all that. That's the vulva. That's the whole thing. Did you say minora back there? Yeah, I think just minora and like majora. Majora minora like But the minora the the the Jewish minora. >> Not in the not in the the Jewish >> is that not How is there not a comparable like I think it's a different spelling and a just different thing. Well, yeah, I didn't I didn't think there was eight candles down there. Yep. I I don't think there is. But I knew all that. I just wanted to make sure that the verbiage I was putting out was a 100% accurate. It's to I don't like to say >> So again, it is It's I don't like to say things here unless I'm like really confident. Right. So, is it inside or outside? It's the collection. It's right. It's the binder of Pokémon cards. You get what I'm saying? Like yeah, you might have a Lugia, you might have an Entei, you might have a, you know, a a a a Reshiram in there, but the whole the whole binder is is the vulva. Frankie doesn't know Volvo. I mean, you don't know Volvo. Stop writing stuff down like you trying to play got you. And the and the labia you didn't really give a good one on that. I mean, I knew it was kind of the external. He kept saying inside and in. >> what is what is what is outside if not an inside from outside? You know what I'm saying? He's got a point with that. I'm going to have a nosebleed. >> [laughter] >> Thinking about how that sentence breaks down. Get here from Sesame Street, dude. >> Mr. Anatomy boy. Mr. Anatomy boy. I don't get it. You You have an issue with Elmo. You have an issue with Cookie Monster. I guess you're only cool with Big Bird. No, I'm saying I didn't really watch that. Yeah, I didn't watch it much either. I did love Snuffleupagus, though. There was a a VHS tape that me and my siblings used to watch. That it was called like We Sing or something. And it was one of those things where it was like like head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Like that type of vibe. But it was like uh almost animatronic or something in a way. What with Yo, I am going to I think it was a movie, though. I don't know. There was like one of those tapes that we had, too. A similar thing, but it was about like littering in the ocean. And it was like an animatronic starfish and fish and otters and [ __ ] like that. And like it's so like ingrained in my mind that I had They They had all those tapes back then where it was just like cleaning up and using the potty for kids. >> Yeah, yeah. Cleaning up time. Yeah. Who's the lady on the couch? Big comfy couch. >> Big comfy couch. What was her name? Big comfy couch. Do you know her name? I just remember her body was the clock. Yo. She got up there, dude. She was limber. She was like, "It's 6:00." Or no, she'd be like, "It's 5:00." One leg was over here, one leg was over there. >> Yeah, dude. >> And like it went around to get there. She's like making a return. Big comfy Big comfy couch is like on its way back. >> Really? >> watch Big Comfy Couch? And got to see. I trying to keep up with what you guys were saying. >> to the name. If you don't know it, you definitely don't. It was a giant comfy couch and she sat on it. >> And she would like like dust bunnies would pop out of it and she'd be like, >> "You're here." >> Yeah. >> With the nose? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've seen a little of it. I had a crush on her in like kindergarten. >> Well, when you see her doing splits like that in kindergarten, that's waking you up. I I wasn't thinking about Oh, okay. [laughter] All right. I think any girl also >> I not me, but I could see why someone would have that idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um I yeah, I probably had a crush on like everyone, to be fair. >> Couch was a big one. That was like our generation's Lamb Chop. Right. Cuz Lamb Chop was I think the '80s and it was like with the the the curly red-headed woman. Yeah. And it was Lamb Chop. We talked about this a little bit before and I didn't bring it up, but you you know the puppet Alf? Yeah, of course. Alf scared the [ __ ] out of me. What is Alf? Like terrified of that. No. >> Alien Life Form is what it's short for. It's the little man with the nose. They made like shows about it in the '80s and [ __ ] Oh, I've seen it, but I never watched this at all. >> that scare you? >> Yo, what are you talking about? Look at it. Look at this. >> really like it. It looks like a hairy pig. Puppets and animatronics from the '80s and '90s are [ __ ] rad. >> Why? Like remember that show Dinosaurs? >> Are puppets a thing anymore? Like do people have puppets? Like you got puppets for your kids? >> puppets. >> do have puppets. >> We got puppets. Yeah. >> I got I I have some I have Lamb Chop uh Hush Puppy and whatever the other one's name is. Um Like I have them. Why does it bother you that much? >> just gross. But like puppets are still a thing. Like there are books now that have like puppets built into them and [ __ ] like that. Books with puppets? >> Yeah. And they're they're not like super and like crazy ones, but you can go um You know how uh like Christmas Village around Bryant Park during during the holiday season? >> They got puppets? There's one stand that you can go and just buy puppets. Dude, speaking of puppets, how funny is it that like when we watch movies or TV shows about the olden days, the entire town would gather around a little shack and someone would put on a show with puppets and everyone's like, "This is [ __ ] fire." >> how trash life must have been ass >> you're excited like the puppet show is coming to town. >> crazy. >> And I'm going to watch a little wooden puppet walk across a plank. Yeah, and it's like oh, and there would be like the king is like a puppet and then he gets embarrassed and then the person who who wrote the play gets killed. >> Well, it's because that's how it was all the time. >> And they were [ __ ] going back to their house and dying by scurvy. Yeah. >> You know, like this [ __ ] wasn't cool, dude. >> think about? What was sex like back then? Because we're not showering. I mean, they're they're they're they were bathing, Joey. They were bathing. I think >> bathing and like they're they're getting like a 3-day-old bucket of water and they'd be like Yeah, I mean, I I I imagine that it was >> Like Game of Thrones. They're banging. Yeah, I mean, that's that's that's >> a good cuz isn't there that the like where did we go that one time? The the Museum of Sex or something like that, right? And they went through like wasn't there a portion of it that like went through like old-timey sex? Like not like showing you like this is how the pilgrims were banging. >> Old-timey sex. It must have sucked, dude. Oh my god, pilgrims banging each other is gross to think about. I mean, because of >> Must have taken an hour to get all that off. All the buckles. You got a buckle on your head. All the buckles. Let me undo this and let my hair down. >> You know how like >> [laughter] >> And it's just a white wig. Can you imagine like with you know like in movies where it's like let me take your pants off and the girl like unbuckles your pants. So you imagine she's like, let me take your hat off and just unbuckling your hat and you're getting horny cuz you're Well, do they have any movies or anything like about like love in those times? I guess like Wuthering Heights. [laughter] Which by the way, have you seen it? Wuthering Heights? >> I haven't seen it. I saw it. The one with Margot Robbie >> Speaking of Big Bird, Jacob Elordi. >> Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie. I watched it. Um I get the overall like love and the thing. However, there's a curveball in there out of nowhere, and I'm like, is that necessary? Which was >> Do you want to know? I'll just I'll just Spoil Spoiler. I mean, I am >> Spoiler for Wuthering Heights. >> not going to be Yeah, anytime soon watching it. >> I will spoil Wuthering Heights for you guys, whatever. But it's a love story, right? Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi >> I know the general the gist of it. What What's your understanding? Like they were like he was like adopted and like they were raised by the same family. >> poor kid. >> Yeah. >> like found him. And yeah, exactly. And they were just like, come on, come live with us. And it's like his trajectory is like live amongst the royals or something like that. And then they like fall in love cuz he's the scrappy little street rat. So >> [laughter] >> It's Aladdin? Is it Aladdin? >> No, no. So So yeah, he's just like a poor kid or whatever. And then he like finds his family, so he's staying with them. But in the beginning of the movie, it's Jacob Elordi, but he's all [ __ ] up. He's got long hair, his beard's all [ __ ] and he's like he's sweaty and [ __ ] and whatever. And him and the girl clearly have some sort of rapport, but whatever. Uh he they're secretly they're both kind of in love with each other, but they don't really know, and whatever. The girl is going to marry some royal guy who's in town now because it helps at that time. >> British guy? Uh he might have been British. I think they were all British in the movie, aren't they? Could be. And he's just No, no, it's got to be mom and Mary. He wasn't he didn't sound like that, but there was a lot of rain in this movie. Uh the posters had a lot of liquid. Yeah, it was Oh my god, it was raining like hell. >> a lot of moisture on the posters. >> They kiss each other a couple times, but it's like she needs to marry this guy cuz they need to level up, you know what I'm saying? Like you can't I you're [ __ ] poor, bro. And you And you smell like the the horses. So that was kind of like the vibe. >> You let me know what side you're on, I guess. >> No, no, no. I'm just saying like this is this is the the the >> Is she saying that? Like, "Yo, I don't want you, you stinky fuck." Basically, she's not saying you stinky [ __ ] She's She's being like, "Bro, I got to like live my life, you know? Like" And he's So he he overhears that she's going to marry this guy, gets tight, bounces. He does. Yeah, he takes off like, "Yo, I'm out." He's like, "I'm dipping cuz I can't deal with this." >> I [ __ ] [ __ ] if I know. He go He disappears into the mist. >> You watch the That was the only thing. Mad mist in this movie. Misty. Mad misty. Misty movie. Rides off into the mist. Now she's pissed. Where's my guy? Question. Any lanterns? Yeah. Okay. And candles and [ __ ] >> Okay. And like ruins. There's like ruins around, too. >> Yeah, still don't understand how they had candles. >> her the person she was pursuing ran off, not Jacob Elordi. >> She wasn't pursuing him. No. No, Jacob Elordi was just like, "You're going to get married and not marry me cuz I just stink a little?" You're going to get married and not marry me cuz I just stink a little? Yeah. And then and then he rides off it cuz he's like, "Yo, whatever. I stink for sure, but like fuck." But love. But like when they found him, he didn't like start to smell better because he was like living with a rich family now? >> He was. He was. But they're they're like not >> ever wash the stink of of like life off, you know what I mean? But he >> Certain stinks follow you. He worked, I guess, in their like stable or something. I'm getting details wrong here. >> Stable boy. So then he >> Well, it's horse stink then. He dips, right? So she marries this guy, blah blah blah. She's having a good time or whatever. She's pissed cuz she's like, "I can't believe this guy left me and you know, by myself. He's going to come back." At first she was distraught. She was sitting on the edge of a mountain and she's like, "Nah, he's going to come back." Delusional. >> Wait, waiting for him. He disappears into the mist. She thinks that she's going to wait on a mountain for him? >> yeah. She's like, >> Famously, no mist on top of mountains. Snow, right? It's like a cliff. Oh, so you should have specified. A cloud could get up there. But he she's up there on the on the on the side of this cliff and she and she's telling like the other mage, she's like, "He's going to come back. He's just [ __ ] with me. Like he'll be back, don't worry. He's just a little dramatic. Doesn't come back for years. Years. How long? Years. Does he come back still stinking? Let me come Let me get to that. >> That's not how the story would go, I don't think. Dude pulls up rich and hot. >> Yeah. Right? >> like he found a genie. So, he pulls up rich and hot. He disappeared. He got his life together. I don't know what the [ __ ] he did. He probably like, you know, whatever, but he came back. Now, he's rich and hot. Y'all, be honest, this really does sound like Aladdin in here. >> [laughter] >> I'm saying. Like He comes back like >> up Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa. >> a pet Is there a cat? There's no cat. Any animals? No animals. Hmm. So, hold on, hold on. Kind of an animal. I'll I'll let you I'll I'll get there. >> Is he an animal? A stinky animal? Got to talk. >> [laughter] >> So, he gets back, right? And now, he's rich. And she's like, "Oh, wow, you look so good." or whatever. And then, obviously, they have some certain conversations on the side. >> movie? This is all happening in 2 hours? Yeah, dude. If you've watched a movie, there's a plot. My G. So, then, uh they start having conversations. And then, he's like, you know, he wants her he wants to be with her type thing. And she doesn't want to. Now, I got to remember if I'm remembering this correctly. Then, he's [snorts] he decides So, let's just fast forward through some mishmash here. He decides, "Okay, there's another girl, right? Who's like, I think that dude's sister or some [ __ ] But she like lives in the house that that dude lives in or something. So, he's like, "Bet. I'm going to I'm going to marry her." Yeah. Just to piss off this girl. To piss off Margot Robbie. Oh, boy. Okay. >> So, now, it's this type of thing, right? However, this is where the wrench comes into the movie. And I'm like kind of a mess. Tells her, the girl, right? He go Not Margot Robbie. He tells her, he goes, "I'm going to marry you. And it And all of this is just to piss her off. It's just to get her mad. >> Okay. And by the way, I'm going to We're going to [ __ ] but we're going to [ __ ] like demons. Like I'm going to be loud, stinky [ __ ] >> Yeah, yeah. He's not stinky anymore. I mean, again, certain stinks of life stay with you forever. If you say so. >> a stinky Astoria alleyway boy. >> I'll take it. >> For the rest of your [ __ ] life, no matter how many [ __ ] blue sweaters you wear. Sorry, that was unnecessary. That was That was that fair? I'm sorry. [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> So, anyway, So, he says this to demon [ __ ] No, he says to the girl, he's like, "Yo, we're going to get married. I'm just get just getting like her pissed off and we're going to I'm going to be rough with you." That type of thing, right? And what does she say? She's She's like it's She's kind of like under the spell. She's like, "Whatever you say, Jacob Elordi. You know you're rich and hot." I mean, and [laughter] he's also tall as hell. >> Yeah, yeah. You never It's like tall, stinky, and rich. Crazy combination. >> I mean. Wait, how does he get rich? Did they ever specify how he no longer became They may have. I was kind of in and out. They do breeze over that though. It sounds like he's just like, "Oh, shipping" or something like that. >> Yeah, import-export. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Logistics. Private equity. Yeah. Yeah, social media. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um so, he so then they start showing sh- They start showing stuff. They show What do you mean showing stuff? Like sex? Yeah, like sometimes it would be like he would sprawl her out on the table and then the maid would go in walk in and he'd be like, "It's okay, you can stay and watch." And we're like, "Yeah, what?" He would like chain her up. He would like this type of [ __ ] >> Wuthering Heights was not Bro, 50 Shades of Grey covered it like a romance. >> Then at one This just sounds like, bro, chain [ __ ] demons. >> Then at one point >> mist. >> Shut up, Frank. >> [laughter] >> Shut the hell up. Get him. Then at one point Margot Robbie gets sick. The maid over there comes back cuz she's like, "I got to let this guy know." She walks in the door. He's sitting over here with an apple. Like you, with the knife, with the apple. >> Oh, I think [laughter] that was a private conversation or a Patreon conversation. >> Was it? Whatever. So, he's like eating an apple with a knife, that type of [ __ ] The girl who he like married her, I don't even know if they got married. Demon [ __ ] >> Yeah. She's in a in a She's got like a chain, and she's chained up to like the fireplace, and she's on all fours like a dog. And she's like barking. And the lady's like, "What the [ __ ] IS GOING ON IN HERE?" >> WHY ARE YOU SO PUMPED? >> [laughter] >> But like it's like I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is this?" >> SO, MARGOT ROBBIE WALKS IN, sees Jacob >> Robbie, it's her maid. But I thought you said his maid walked in, and she was just he was just like, "Oh, you can watch. This is cool." Different maid, I think. >> How many maids do these [ __ ] people have? >> know, it was back then. Everyone had maids. >> yeah. That makes sense. So, she's So, then she's on all fours, barking like a dog, and he's >> Like a legit barking like a dog. >> Yes. And like that was the whole point of that. It was like because it was like a you know, I've got her under the spell type of thing, whatever. He finds out Margot Robbie's sick. So, now he's like, "What the fuck?" She's dying and [ __ ] Like she He lets her off the leash. She had I think she was pregnant at one point. I'm [ __ ] this [ __ ] all the way up. Oh, she was pregnant. She gets sick. Oh, and the baby is this dude's. It's Jacob Elordi's. Wait, they did sex? They [ __ ] each other, yeah. >> stinky sex. >> Yeah, they did. They did. And I think it was his baby. Oh, no, it wasn't his baby. >> Yo, you got to figure this the [ __ ] out. >> it. I got it. It wasn't his baby. He thought it was, and she's like, "It's not yours." He was tight. How did they know that back then? How? >> knew that like the timing. That's fair. Yeah. So, she checked her vulva. She did. She got a pap smear. Um [laughter] I don't know. Yeah, I know. But then he's So, then she's like, "Yo, the" She tells him like, "Yo, he She's [ __ ] dying." Like, you know, like whatever. Oh, that's when he like was like, "I'm going to get back at this girl" cuz he found out she was pregnant with that dude. And he was like, "It's not mine. [ __ ] you for life." >> So, I'm going to have my girl bark like a dog. >> Exactly. That was the payback? >> Natural payback. >> I don't know. Yeah, if anyone ever gets your uh love of your life ever gets pregnant, you just find someone adjacent to her and turn her into her dog. For the record, I haven't watched this movie. I imagine that there's points to all this that you are just completely skipping. >> I don't know that that's true to be honest. I really think I'm nailing it. >> I believe it was directed by Emerald Fennell and >> [clears throat] >> like Emerald Fennell sounds like an herb. Mhm. Well, Fennell is it's a plant and it's green and yeah. I don't think there's any dogs in Aladdin. No, no, no. But hold on, hold on. There's birds, there's a tiger. So the So the ending is the beautiful part where she's dying from like sep- sepsis. This [ __ ] is green or like white. She's like laying in bed. >> the irony, now she stinks. She's dying in her bed. >> Yeah. And he he's trying to get there to see her before she dies. And spoiler, doesn't. She doesn't die. She No, he doesn't make it. She dies. Ah. Well, you you just you're crazy. You're spoiling a like 4-month-old movie. I said spoiler. >> doing fine. He's doing fine. So you I'm fully I'm fully in. >> spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. We're talking about it. Yeah, but you don't want people to stop watching. It's far too late now. I'm fully in. >> So then So then he doesn't make it and then he like gets in her [ __ ] face, her dead face. She's so dead at this point. >> How dead? Uh dead, like white. >> So she really stinks. >> Yeah, probably. I assume. Oh, she's not decomposing. She like just died in bed. >> in theory, she is decomposing the minute she dies. You're obsessed with stink. A little bit. So and then he says something like uh like he wants her to come back and like just like, you know, cuz they were like it was very tumultuous the entire time and it's like, I want you to like piss me off or whatever like it [ __ ] stink for me. >> No. Whatever. But that was the whole love story. But the whole wrench, and then and then whatever, that movie kind of ends like there. Like there's not like a What's the The girl's still a dog back at that house. She's still She's still on her leash. And in front of the fire. Now love of his life just dies, and she was pregnant. I believe miscarried at the same time. The the guy who who she married is like outside, and he was actually outside when Jacob Elordi pulled up and he was like, "You don't want to go in there, she's dead." He was like, "Yo, she's dead in there." And he's like, "I'm going in." Who I need to know who the other actors in this movie. Like I Those are the two I know. Um Owen Cooper's in it for a bit. He's like the young The young kid. >> Yeah, the young kid. Oh, he plays like the young stinky kid. >> Yeah. Yeah. Young stinky Jacob Elordi. >> [laughter] >> That's the credit at the end of the movie. Young stinky Jacob Elordi, Owen Cooper. Congratulations. Uh okay. All right. I mean, I know that you've butchered that to the point where people that are fans of the actual content are going to [ __ ] smoke you. >> Or they're going to love it. Like I feel like I did it kind of like that. >> Honestly, I don't see why we can't have Here's what we should do. We should have an episode where we just watch crazy out there movies and just try to our [ __ ] best of our ability to review them. Or like not even review, summarize them. That's what you just did. I'm saying like if we did a whole like Patreon episode doing that or something like that because Of one of those movies? Because like if you I were to sit you in front of like Requiem for a Dream and just be like, "What's that movie about?" and just see what you say. Or like Eraserhead. Just like the weirder movies that are out there. Yeah. Not that Requiem's weird. It's a little more dark, but Okay, so here I'm going to re-respond I'm going to just kind of repeat back to you what you told me. After these messages >> messages from our sponsors. >> have some sponsors. The first one being Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free uh website that you can go on a free app or website that you can go on, and it helps you find and book high quality doctors that are in your area, take your insurance, and their next available appointments, okay? I was using Zocdoc way before they were even on this show and I definitely use them now cuz I honestly don't even know how to do it otherwise. But, uh Zocdoc, you go onto this website or the app, you put in your insurance, and you put the doctor that you want to see. 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Margot Robbie lives with a rich family. She found she finds a stinky little British boy. No, she's not rich. She's like middle class. That's why she's trying to She's trying to level up. Oh, okay. Oh, by the way, a detail I forgot to mention. Dad hammered 24/7. All the all the drunk all the time. Like mad hammered. >> Who plays the dad? I don't know. A good drunk acting is is hard to do. Yeah. >> So like I can imagine like that would that would be impressive. You know who played a great drunk? Nick Nolte. Killed me in Warrior. Oh my god. Uh yeah, he also like I think he might actually just be drunk. Mhm. Nick Nolte? Yeah. I don't know. Mr. Nolte, if you're alive well, if you're not alive I hope everything is all right. I don't know where I'm getting at. >> [laughter] >> If if you walked into like your friend invited you over and you walked into their house and their partner is just on a leash. You'd be like like they invited you for dinner and they're just all oh yeah. Yeah, that would be I I I I I think I would I mean I would just say something. You have to address it. I'd be like, what the [ __ ] is this? Like If it was like a haha we're just joking around okay, but if it's like a no like this is seriously what I'm into I might need to remove myself. Like just be like, all right, I'm out. I'm not I'm not That's how they got the Diddy people cuz the Diddy people didn't say anything. I see. I would um I would have some questions. I'd be like, oh, what's that about? You would want to know the ins and outs of their leash play? Well, I I also think that it's a little disrespectful if you're going to do that. If you're going to do some kink stuff in front of company that doesn't know, I think that's kind of [ __ ] So, let's do one one in the same vein. If you go over to someone's house and them and their couple like it's just like oh, they they wear a diaper. I got to go change them. I'll be right back. Um just go. Like don't tell me. Yeah, like I personally from what I've learned from doing OPL is that people that are in the kink communities think that it's a bad thing if you're just going to like do stuff like that in front of people that have no idea what's going on. Like you shouldn't do that. I mean I mean that that invite that invites the the side sideways looks, you know, like that's why I'd be like what is she doing? Yeah, we don't need it we don't need all this. Yeah, like need all this on the like we you can do this in your own time. Like or just don't invite I don't have to come over. Let's go up right. Or just like give me a precursor here. Just like hey, just let you know, my wife and then she's a dog. >> [laughter] >> And I'll be like Okay, is that like a yeah, that's I would I would I would kindly if that were the case, I would just be like all right. I don't need to come over. I don't I'm okay. turn off the dog for an hour and a half that I can come over and hang out for dinner or something. I can hang out with the dog with your wife dog. Brother, you cannot. Why? You will not be able to. Why? What am I going to do? You will be very uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. I'll be fine. As long as they don't ask me to pet her or him. Pet her? Yeah, like a dog. And it depends what what's happening at dinner. Like if if a food bowl comes out, that's when I'd be like oh, man. Brother, the leash is out. What do you mean if a food bowl comes out? They're there. They're at the [ __ ] you know, they're at the park. I mean, I'm not going to leave. What am I That's I mean, I'd have to say it respectfully. I don't feel comfortable with this you guys kind of doing this on display. If that's what you do in your own time, that's fine. It's just not for me to be around. Sure. I would I would just have questions. It's like all right, if you're going to put it out here, I'm going to ask. >> Yeah, let's let's go on. I mean, but that's what they want. They want it to be like then they get back and it was just like, you left you were a bad doggy. Yeah. Right. And they were like, that's what they that you're playing into their game. You're [ __ ] helping with the kink. Cuz then they're going to be like, Joey thought I was a bad doggy. Well, I didn't say that. I I was just asking like, oh, what's going on? Like is this a joke or whatever? And if it's real and they're like, oh, yeah, this is uh you know, this is my wife. She likes to be a dog and she likes to be a dog. >> full on pissed on the carpet? If she ripped a pee? Like on a wee-wee pad. Mhm. Yeah, I mean I would I mean, was she naked? No, in their pants. She peed her pants. Yeah. I feel like a Um, you're there, brother. Ask your questions. >> like a skirt scenario probably make more sense or Oh, I don't I mean, I feel like nudity is definitely crossing a line. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. That's why I said pants on. But they're like they make they make an oopsie. They make an oopsie. Right. You know. Yeah, I mean, I would definitely >> Doggy went in the house. I would definitely just be like, yeah, this is like very uh there's a lot going on here, sir. Like this is You sound like inconsiderate guest is what you sound like, Frankie. I would say >> Brother, if that makes me [laughter] an inconsiderate guest, no problem. I do think it's a little inconsiderate of the host to not give someone a precursor of like >> Bro, if I went over to your house and then your [ __ ] partner's there just like tied up and it's just like, yeah, it's just what we do. I'd be like Why would you even ask me to come over? >> Yeah, this is not the time. Like why like the exactly. Like there like that would be like you wanted me to see this. Oh, man. >> Weird. It it it'd be such a funny prank too to pull. Like invite you guys for dinner and just one of your friends is doing that. It's like it's a whole it's all a bit. Would be great. I mean, at this point is it >> If it was one of my friends, I would certainly speak up. >> I I honestly like it would need to be someone I know so well that like if they told me it was a joke, I'd be like, yeah, I know it's a joke. Because like if it was someone that I was like teetering on like, I don't know if this could be a joke or not, that's way worse. >> How would you feel if I told you that like I'm actually into it? Like we do it. Good for you. I would be so supportive of you and your kink. Who's on the leash? Who do you think? It's him, right? >> 100%. It's Dom play. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> It's okay. We I mean, no, seriously, like I would I would make it a point to be like over the top supportive, so like there was no room for like he think he's judging me. I would legitimately be supportive of whatever that would be for you. >> But if you came over >> I came over and it was in the room, I would have to talk with you and you'd be like, it crazy >> my [ __ ] life. talking about like uh >> [laughter] >> it it being the display. Okay. Like You'd be like, chill. >> I would just be like, dude, you didn't need to do this while I was So if I told you that, right? If I told you that, I'm like, yeah, we're kind of into this thing, whatever. And then one time you came over and like it was dog time. >> [laughter] >> I mean, I would hope that you would be able to schedule dog time around your [ __ ] visitors. Yeah, but Yeah. >> nap time for a child. You're consenting adults, you can move dog time. Sometimes you just got to bark, man. >> I >> [laughter] >> Yeah, sometimes it's like it just takes over you spontaneously. >> just, you know, the the bark is bigger than the bite, you know? >> Yeah. Yeah. The bark is in you forever. It's that's one of those things you can't get rid of. Yeah, it feels like my fault, my bad. What would you do if like another universe, you're going on dates with people and they're like, I'm a a reformed doggy. Reformed? Like I used to be into like doggy kink play. I don't do that anymore. Um first of all, is this a first date? Yeah. This is a an electric first date. Yeah. This is what I'm looking for. I I I mean we would have tons of questions. I would I would be like, "Yo, what are we talking about here?" That wouldn't be like an immediate like, "All right, respectfully, I'm bowing out." >> Oh, why? >> Come on. Personally, I'm imagining this person is [ __ ] [ __ ] on the sidewalk and stuff like that. >> You go right to defecation. >> [laughter] >> There's a lot a lot more. The pup is like you jump over stuff. Mhm. You like to wear a collar. Whatever. >> Yeah, I I I think it just it might >> wore chokers? What's the difference? >> Yeah, I remember I remember I remember I very much so remember Julia Stiles. Trust me. Chokers were the thing First of all >> She had hundreds of those, dude. Any [ __ ] premiere she was at. >> the the black ones that were like kind of like lace it looked like? >> like this Yeah, Julia Sti- bro, pull up any picture of Julia Stiles from the mid-2000s and I can almost guarantee she had one of those on. I like I liked them. I thought they were >> they made them for like ankles, too. Did they? Yeah. And whenever girls wore those in like middle school Well, I was like, I kind of like this. All pictures of not >> [laughter] >> Not not a single one. I mean there's a there's a necklace. >> Just type in choker. Uh I don't know if that's what we should be putting out there. >> what those called, chokers? >> Yeah, yeah, they are. I I think so. You don't got to put it in. It's all right. Josh doesn't have to >> Yeah, something like that. >> Yeah, honestly, even when the search is specific, still not there. >> Yeah. >> [laughter] >> So, I don't know. I've seen so I feel like I've seen so many. What? I'm so I'm wrong. You can't get that. You can't get the Julia Stiles choker out of your brain. >> so. Yeah, I saw her in that one movie and I was just like, "That's every picture of her." >> Save the Last Dance. There was a movie she did that was called I think it was called like uh Was it Misery? >> I Hate About You? >> No, there was another one where she like played like a bad kid. Like it was >> it was 10 Things I Hate About You. Heath Ledger. No, there was another one. [ __ ] I think it was called Misery. Um not to confuse it with the Kathy Bates Kathy [laughter] Bates Misery. I mean, I'm not going to ask you to look up Julius Isles' filmography, but like I remember it was always on like RCN at the time. No, we're past that. But so you go on a date and someone's like, "Oh, I used to be into pup play." Not that they are currently, but they're But like if they're do if if it got to the point where they're like I had to back out of it, I'd be like, "It got bad, dude." Or maybe they're just not into it anymore. Maybe the pup left. >> pup The pup ran off. What happened? Like it I feel like if you're committing to pup play, Yeah. you know you're in for the whole shebang. You think it's a lifelong thing? I imagine like I'm sure you could grow out of it, sure, but like what happened at that person's life at that in that person's life that made them go, "I'm wiping my paws with this one. I'm out." Well, dogs age faster, so maybe, you know, you just get out of it faster. You get too big for the yard? >> Yeah. I think that maybe it was like something Maybe what if she was just indulging in what her partner at the time was into? Like he was really into pup play. So she was like, "All right, I'll pup it up." I I Yeah, it's just it's it's it's a very strange thing to me. >> I would respect that crazy. If she was like, "I wasn't really the the OG pup." I respect people having their thing wholeheartedly. I think like there's a level for it that personally I would not be able to look past. It would just be too It's too weird of a thing for me and weird in the not a non-disrespectful sense that like it would just be hard for me to not Like I'm an overthinker. You know I'm a I'm an overthinker. It would be hard for me to not look past. Look past that, excuse me. Does it matter if she was a cat instead of a pup? Ooh, good question. That's a really great question. It would almost be worse if she's a cat? >> because cats have more like licking of themselves and hairball things and litter boxes. >> So you say Wait, is you're saying the cat's worse? I think it's a little deeper in there, you know? Okay. That would be a wonderful conversation. Yeah. I'm sure you Have you guys talked to a former puppy on the on OPL? Yeah. And? Oh, no, they were a current. >> They were barking it up. Uh, no. They It's It's more of like there's a masks. We looked them up once. >> them up once. Yeah, I remember. I remember the masks. Yes, I remember I remember when we looked up those masks. >> the masks. >> Not cheap. Not Bro, it's leather. Artisan artwork. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. Artisan crafted doggy mask. There's a market, for sure. Good Listen, all the power [snorts] to >> I also will say I was going to say is like if she was like, "I wasn't the the OG pup. My partner at the time was really into it, so I indulged." I'd be like, "That's fire. It's cool." I hear what you're saying. Yes, sure, fine. But, if they were to say like, "I bowed out." My question is to >> up the paws? I would be like, "Why?" Why did she hang up the paws? >> Why Why Why are you no longer Oh, she's like, "I just wasn't that into it." Like, I I was like into it for him. >> Yeah, and then they broke up, and now you're not into him. >> like that gets to a breaking point. Does that Like, am I making sense by saying that? Like What gets to a breaking point? If you get to the point where it's like, "I'm just I wasn't that into it." It's like, all right, something happened or almost happened to put you into that Breakup. It was like, "I'm no longer with the pup guy, and I don't I don't need the pup." Yeah. I got the mask just in case. Just cuz she nibbled a little bit in the pup doesn't mean she went full pup. I mean, maybe she went full pup. >> Maybe she did. First of all, I would respect that. I actually wouldn't respect just just being just One foot in, one foot out of the pup. You're going to pup, or you're going to not going to pup? >> Yeah, go pup. Go full pup. >> Go full pup if you're going to If you're going to pup, pup. >> The point that I was trying to make is I was trying to review the [ __ ] Wuthering Heights movie and summarize it. How the [ __ ] did we get to pup play? >> I don't know. All right. Here we go. From what you said Here we go. Stinky Jacob Elordi gets found by middle-class [ __ ] Margot Robbie. >> Yeah. It's raining. Raining. Mist everywhere. Always someone is wet. Yeah. And then she's like he's like "Yo, you know what? [ __ ] this, I'm out because you like [ __ ] rich guy and you only want to be with him for status." And then he comes back, he's like "Guess what? Now I'm the status." Yeah. And [ __ ] you. So I'm going to take his [ __ ] sister and I'm going to make her bark like a puppy. Yeah. And I'll show you, Margot Robbie, I'm no longer that stinky little stead boy that soiled his pants all the time. Uh-huh. Now I'm [ __ ] prim and proper and probably wearing an ascot. Maybe. If there's not an ascot in that movie, there's lanterns Oh, there's ascots. Okay. And then it's like "You know what? You stayed a piece of [ __ ] for too long. I'm Margot Robbie, I'm dying, I'm dead. Now I stink and you're now rich and miserable because you didn't you didn't decide to be a good guy." Essentially. But they all they they loved each other throughout. Crazy. But they smelled like [ __ ] They never smelled like [ __ ] at the same time. That's what I'm getting here. Is that at different points different people had different stinks. They never matched their stink up to go full stink together. They never sent the stink. It's like he's like "Oh, I'm a little kid. I smell like shit." And she's just like "All right, I don't." And then I smell like [ __ ] but you smell better because now you use hot baths and stuff cuz you're rich and British now. You're not listening but he's actually he's actually speaking. Thank you. So like the the the message of the story, the moral of the story is match the stink. If love is more powerful than stink. Love is more powerful? Yeah. Well Love overpowers the stench of love is better than the stench of dog [ __ ] >> point is reversed, I think. Yeah, I think you're >> know, you were building to the Well, no, they were fighting their love. When when And then because of doing that, they both had different stinks. Mhm. You did have something. I still got it. >> It's like right right people wrong time is what he was getting at, I think. >> Right stink, wrong time. No. Wrong stink, wrong time. I tried. >> [laughter] >> It's not about the stink at all. >> Tried my best. I mean, when you got a little smelly like dog [ __ ] Jacob Elordi. I can't even do >> [laughter] >> What could you possibly be writing over there? Uh right stink, wrong time. Got it. I imagine that Mr. Elordi, first of all, don't beat me up because you're like 6' 12" and probably could wipe the floor with me. That would just be 7 ft. >> [laughter] >> I'm not saying you stink. Your character probably smelled like dog [ __ ] Yeah. What was this the interviews where Margot Robbie was essentially saying like, "Oh, I I yearn for him." >> still or something? >> think that's like a whole marketing thing that they do now in Hollywood where it's like, "Oh, if you make it seem like the the actors are in love, then people will go see the movie." Like will they will not they? Yeah, that type of [ __ ] All right. I'm not I didn't love that. But I not like the There There were some other There were some other awkward like inner like press junkets and stuff like that, too. Like the famous one was the one last year with uh Pedro Pascal and Vanessa Kirby for Fantastic Four. We're like she's like stroking his back and like he's like, "Well, no, it's all right, guys, cuz I have anxiety and she's helping me." Yeah, I I I mean I have no I like I don't know. Like if that if that isn't a marketing thing, like that would be so weird cuz she's married. You know what I mean? I'm like >> I agree. >> This is a weird comment. Yeah. And And I'm sure he was lurching around with someone at that time, too. Lurching? Lurch, like tall. Yeah. Yeah. You know Lurch. Addams Family. Good job, dude. I know snapping song. >> You crushed that. You absolutely crushed that. >> Snapping? No, the the knowing that it's from the Addams Family. >> Oh, yeah, there's only one Lurch in the world. All right. Is that an actual verb? Lurch? Lurk. But I was lurch lurching in reference to the fact that he's giant. Mhm. And jury's out on if he actually does stink. He looks like he smells good. Not in the movie. Well, he's [ __ ] always soaking wet wearing old-timey English clothes. There's no chance he smelled good. >> I know. And he was chopping a lot of wood. When he gets angry, he chops wood in that movie. Gets pissed and he starts chopping wood. Okay. When's the last time you chopped wood, Frankie? Not that long ago. He has a fireplace. No. Well, no, my fireplace now is uh gas. But like at the lake, like 5 years ago I was chopping wood. If that, maybe even sooner. I can't I don't even know the last time I chopped wood. I would chop wood at my friend's Long Island house, and it's just one of those friends where his dad would trick me into doing manual labor. His dad That was my dad. Big time, dude. Big time. >> His dad could His dad's like masterful at it. His dad will just ask you like uh When he says masterful, it's really disrespectful. No, no, no. It's masterful. You don't know it's coming, and you know it's coming, but you don't know that it's right now. >> Well, because you would think that he had the wherewithal to know that the kids that stayed up until 4:00 a.m. drinking don't want to be up at 9:00 a.m. to flip a dock. Woah. Brother. [laughter] Woah, that's flip a dock, yeah. >> Not an exaggeration, either. Like >> One time 30 by 30 square pressure-treated wooden docks [laughter] with barrels tied underneath them. >> And then it's like, let's make a bunch of 11-year-olds flip this. >> [laughter] >> Well, we were like 20 at the time, but >> Yeah, we were. I'm joking. And it's like the best way to flip it is to get it straight up and then walk it down your this thing weighed like 5,000 pounds and there's 2020 year olds like trying to figure it all out. It was tough dude. I remember one time I was I was staying at Espo's house and it was like dinner time and we were out on the lake so we're like all right we're going back and I I was like I'm just going to swim back so I swam back and like there's like a little beach by Frank's house so that's where I got out cuz it was like too far to get all the way to Espo's house I was like [ __ ] that as I get out his dad's like can you just help me I think there's a hole in this thing in like one of the things I'm like yeah. Hour and a half looking for this hole and he's like you put water in soap and you see where it bubbles [laughter] yeah classic it was like an hour and a half love Frank to death though. Well Was there a hole? Yeah there's certain Was that you? Did you hear that? Did your balls just drop out of your pants? >> [laughter] >> Was there a hole? Yeah. I was like [ __ ] was that? That was crazy it was like a the start of like a [ __ ] like techno song. He doesn't listen to techno. I don't listen to techno. Would you go like if we were like in Berlin would would we go to like a deep house like [ __ ] Let me tell you where I the places I don't want to be most on the planet. Really? Yeah. But just for the experience. So I can go listen to [ __ ] Diplo? Not to Diplo why don't you shut up and Diplo to suck THESE NUTS BABY. >> [laughter] [screaming] >> I DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT ONE. YOU DON'T NEED to like it it's there and would you kindly? Wow did you start the techno thing? Yeah right I got Yeah you got to hit him with a got him that was pretty good. Got him so good baby got him so good Diplo and suck these balls. Yeah yeah yeah that's not bad that's not bad I that's a pretty good one. And and I like was calm during it. I DIDN'T >> [laughter] >> I DIDN'T LIKE STUMBLE MY WAY through it as I have done >> calm during it. >> as I have done so many other times. Yeah. Well, Did I get you with that one? Were you were like did you see it coming? >> No, that was it was very fast. I'm so glad >> cuz he he he fired off cuz he got a little excited about the techno thing and then it just it it all Yeah, no, I cannot imagine wanting to go to like an electronica. Are we going or are we where he's going? Like are we in the cool area or are we just going I'm not going. Oh, well, yeah, he's not going. He's not going. >> I'm saying like are we like are we just going and being in the pit? I don't want to do that. I don't want I want also I don't want to like hear a DJ just going like "Good [ __ ] Joey!" WELL, THEY'RE "COME ON!" THEY'RE GERMAN. OH, so Yep. It's like, no. >> [laughter] >> Is that the same voice? Very very euro. Yes, electronic. No, I I did it again. [ __ ] I can't [laughter] find my German. Well, start with a different German then go there. >> I can't find my >> you want me to be in floating Okay. go to electronica. Now, bring it over. Now, [ __ ] go to electronica! No, it wasn't working there. Sorry. >> [laughter] >> I can't find my German. You would go? Yeah, dude. I mean, I'm there. Might as well. I don't know how like, you know, it's not like The lights and the the lights and the like boom boom boom boom boom boom alone would give me a heart attack. >> Yeah, yeah, it would be intense. That would be a lot. There'd be a lot of mist there, too. Maybe stinky Jacob Elordi's also there. Get to the ads. >> [laughter] >> I'd wear like a fishnet shirt. >> Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, you you're you're trying to introduce fishnets as a normal part of your your wardrobe. He is, right? He is. >> How am I doing? >> And it's fair cuz you do have the build for it, which is good. >> How how do I how am I doing that? You're You're You're experimenting with fishnets. You want an example? >> that? Well, you wore You wore one to the iHeart uh Podcast Awards. That's right. It wasn't really [laughter] fishnets. But I mean, brother adjacent. It was adjacent. >> It was closer to fishnets than anything that either of us anything that I've ever worn in my entire life. >> couldn't give your jacket away. You know? Yeah. It was Get to these ads. We'll talk [laughter] about your fishnet obsession after this. >> I don't have an obsession. Everything's fine. Uh we do have some more sponsors. This one being Squarespace. Squarespace is the platform where you can build your website. If you want a professional-looking website, you can build those with Squarespace. All right? They have a bunch of templates that make it very easy to choose from. You pick one, you swap out the photos and the text, and you can have a professional-looking website in a short amount of time. I've used other platforms before. Takes forever. Very annoying. Squarespace, it's very easy. I've literally done it in a day to create a landing page. And we've used it a bunch here. So, I would suggest that to anyone. If you make content or if you have an e-commerce business or anything like that, you're going to want to use Squarespace. They also have a bunch of tools that are going to help you uh figure out where your traffic's coming from, how much traffic your site is getting, how you can improve that, those types of things. So, it's it's helpful. It's a one-stop shop. So, you can head to squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain uh using that code basement. Again, that is squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain. Um we also have a new uh sponsor here, Nurturium, um which is uh skin literacy for everyone. Okay, so it's a clinically effective skin care for everyone, everywhere, every day. All right? As I'm getting into my older ages here, skin care has become a a more important part of my life. As a kid, never used it. Never put moisturizer on my body at all. So, I was probably all like dry and cracky and whatnot. But now, you need skin care and you want to make sure that you're putting nice stuff on your body. Naturium has that. Um their formulas are skin-friendly with pH balancing ingredients that are gentle and effective enough to be uh daily use head to toe. And I'm head to toe in this, all right? I'm putting I'm putting the moisturizers in the skin care all over the skin. The biggest organ of the body, as they say. Um But yeah, so it's affordable luxury you can use every single day. You can even sign up and earn points and redeem awards uh for their consistency club, is what it's called. Uh and it's really good. I've used it before. Frank also just said >> Oh yeah, got a big big big use at our house. Got a big use going on, all right? >> in our house, absolutely. Uh so, give your skin the affordable luxurious glow it deserves. Go to naturium.com/basement for 10% off uh the glow getter bundle today. Okay, that is uh Naturium spelled n a t u r i u m.com/basement to get 10% off of the glow getter bundle today. You're welcome. All right? All right. That's for your skin. Back to Joey's fishnet. He's now I Is it getting to the point cuz this is the second time he's brought it up. Well, you wore it the first time and now you're bringing up like wear a fishnet. When do we label him fishnet Joe? It was more just a lapse of fishnet judgment, I feel. For a second. >> think By the way, the most frustrating part of this is you pulled it off and you look good. If you look bad, I wouldn't be making fun of you for it. Actually, I would but just not as intensely. Okay. So, like if you're trying to just soft launch fishnet If you're trying to soft launch fish nets, that's fine. I support you. Just let us know so we don't make fun of you and make you feel bad about what you're wearing. I don't believe that about you. What? What does that mean? I'm wearing blue. I said you look like Cookie Monster. Twice. Sue me. I made an observation. >> Twice with with intent with mal intent >> was to show you that I know Cookie Monster colors. >> think that you can hear yourself speak sometimes, buddy. You damn right. I don't need to listen to myself speak. You love it. >> [laughter] >> No. If I don't need to listen. You do you you If you're trying to make fish nets work, I just want you to know you look good when you wore them and I support it. >> I don't consider that fish net. It's porous a bit, but it's not like fish nets like you can see through it. It's like Jeff Hardy. That was more I guess he's right, but fish nets are more >> fish net shirt, you'd see my nipples. Brother, we we didn't not see your nipples. >> Show my nipples. There was There was nipples about like you you know what I mean? Nipple there. What was that? Oh. >> Oh, he knows where your nipples are. Yeah. Forget him. >> Yeah, maybe you can Did we know someone who was like, "I'm really good at this. I can tell you where your nipples are." Some girl. Yeah, it's like a Wait, what? >> I shouldn't anime move on you, but that's how you do it. Center chest, boop, nipples right there. Is that true? Wait, so center chest Yep. nipple No. Well, no no. I mean, you're not really You could see where Ryan is. I'M [ __ ] COCKEYED. Your That's Your shirt's almost fish [laughter] net. Like this? >> No, it's a white t-shirt. Like this? Yeah. And then I what? Bend my hand? Yeah, and then boop, should be right there. That is my nipple. No. Also, no. I don't know how center chest you are, but >> Brother, I know my chest. He is center chest. Yeah, you drop it? I think I am. Um Come here. Try it. All right. Cuz I'm doing it. Let's see. And be honest. And don't actually pinch my nipple, please, cuz I [ __ ] hate my nipples. >> [snorts and laughter] >> All right, so Get in the center of that thing. Here's my center chest. >> Like this? That's not my center chest, brother. >> Bro- brother, it's Okay, you drop, nipple. Oh. He got you? >> He he That one he got. >> The other one is [ __ ] lazy eye. It's looking around. That's kind of a cra- What Why do you know that? This kid loves nipples. Why do you know that this like this thing? >> Sometimes you just know things. >> Were you breastfed? >> [sighs and gasps] >> I think so. That's how he knows. He's like, "Mom, just wait there." Yeah. Too much? It's a wild [laughter] [ __ ] image. Um That's just one of those things that you know. >> everyone an image of that. >> [laughter] >> Oop. [clears throat] I know I was breastfed. You were breastfed, too, right? Yeah. What's What's wrong with that? Now you got something against breastfed people? No, I'm not saying anything. I honestly don't know if I was bre- I I I assume. >> Last child, I feel like usually maybe not breastfed. Yeah, I mean, I was lucky I was fed at all. Right. At that point. >> Your mom's going to hear that. She's going to be like, "Joey, tell the people that I fed you appropriately." [laughter] No, my mom fed us. >> You were very You were You You were nourished. Yeah. You were nourished. >> you, Liz. Don't worry. I'm not going to allow him to drag your name on a [ __ ] podcast. Um How did we get there? >> We were talking about your fishnet obsession. >> Oh, my nipples. >> Fishnet session. Right, my nipples were not out. That's the thing. They were like there, you know, like when when when a room is completely dark your eyes adjust to the light and you can see a little. You know what I'm saying? You You just see like there is some sort of shadow if I squint and that's where his nipple is, but it's not like it's like out. I need to see I I I I don't think pictures will do it justice. I need to see the shirt that you had purchased. >> Easiest solution, we'll just go win another award and he'll just win the he'll just wear it. I could wear it on the show. Wear it on the show. I mean, oh god, as if you need to look better. I'm going to get wear a jacket. Yeah, that was a scared of dying. >> going to die. Dropping [ __ ] Yeah, that scared me. There was a sound that sounded like a little >> dumbbells and then a little girl like >> Yeah, like Yeah, that's why I don't like it. >> Yeah, that that is scary. I'm not Squeaking and hearing like a little girl laugh or something. Sometimes Sometimes when you both leave and I'm here, it could get really dark in here. Bro, it gets mad dark in here. >> really? Well, cuz we we we black everything out. Oh, yeah. >> Bro, at night when I have left this place and shut out the lights, I'm like, I legitimately can't see a thing. >> Yeah. I I call the elevator first and get that light and then I turn off the lights and go go in. Yes. It gets scary. >> the kid that like ran up the stairs of the basement like I I I still have to mentally make it a point to be like, I'm I'm I'm a grown I'm grown. >> Yeah, like there's nothing down here. This is my house. >> But then one time something did fall over and and that was that scared me. Um do you still go up the stairs on your like hands sometimes? No. No. I don't have access to that many stairs. No, I don't. >> Like I live in an apartment with no stairs. Um You don't do it? You don't have stairs. I I'm not I like I used to do it and be like, I'm Pikachu, but like Yeah. But like I I haven't done that. I can't even tell you last time I did that. Damn. That's the sad part. >> Dude. Speaking of sad, I saw a [ __ ] Tik Tok recently and it really sent me down a bad path. And it was like it was so sweet. It really I'm so sensitive these days for some reason, but it was a guy who had a lovely voice and he was singing Frank Sinatra My Way to a bunch of old ladies in a retirement home. Oh, I saw that and there was that one woman that was just like She was like mouthing the lyrics and I was like this is breaking my heart. >> Yeah, I've seen >> Because he he's going like, "And now the end is near." >> I mean, that's kind of [ __ ] up to sing that to a bunch of old people though. >> That's what I mean. Well, he the the comments >> guess what? You're going to die soon." Like >> "So I face the final curtain." And she's like singing along. I'm like, "Oh my god, she knows she's going to die soon." And like that's just so sad. The comments though, he was like It's cuz people were saying that and the kid wrote um this was a request. Someone requested it. >> Someone requested like this please say >> going in there and firing off songs about being close to the end is crazy. But >> Yeah. It just made me cry and then I saw a bunch of sad videos. Bro, I saw one like two days ago that was like an it was like a news story someone did. It was like an old man had lost his wife and he was just like grumpy and miserable and pissed and then he was in a grocery store and like a little girl like asked him for a hug. And he was like, "I had never I had I literally was living to like living to die, waiting to die. And then this little girl just asked me for a hug and like they like bonded and like would like spend time together and stuff like that." Don't even. I have chills. Oh, he's going. >> have chills. Also, I saw this other thing and this I I was uh I was a [ __ ] mess, bro. I was a mess watching this. Uh I'm not even going to pull the video cuz I'm going to I'm legitimately going to cry. I mean, that one I won't talk about. I'll talk about the other You know what? We're going to talk about both. Just do it, baby. Who cares? This is the tail end of the year. >> there's a a video that this one got me going. I'll just read it, but because it's just a video of like a bunch of kids that are they look like they're in their early 20s Okay. hugging this woman and it says, "Two years ago on Mother's Day, we said goodbye to my brother after his battle with cancer. Today, for the second year in a row, his friends surprised my mom for Mother's Day. A beautiful reminder that love lives on through the people he touched." Right? Right. So I see video and it's like all the kids are there and they're hugging the mom and then they're in her like driveway and they're just playing basketball. The next video is some guy talking about that video and then like he adds in that oh, it's such a sweet thing because her mom because the mom gets to watch the kids through the window playing in the driveway. >> Playing in the driveway. And it reminds her of like her son and and That's beautiful. >> [ __ ] this app. >> beautiful. >> [ __ ] this app to hell. That is beautiful. Yeah. I mean every now like I said, every like month and a half my my algorithm just becomes like we're going to make you a cry and [ __ ] hard and fat. Dude. Like there was one where it was like and I've seen this sentiment like other people have posted it as well and it's just like like you know like the the the music for Oh, you've never seen Inside Out. The fact that you have not watched Inside Out. Bro, that first movie is going to [ __ ] ruin you. It's going to ruin you, but it's like the the music from Inside Out and it's like kids playing and it's like when I'm 80 this will be what I dream about. And it's like their kids and stuff like that and >> Yeah. It's so [ __ ] dude. >> what's crazy and you'll get there when you have kids. You can't have kids and like just be happy about having kids. The internet needs to consistently remind you of like they're not going to be this young forever. Cherish it now. They're only going to You're going to remember this and miss it one day and it's like I [ __ ] know that. >> Yeah. Shut up, [ __ ] I saw this other video >> That's it. That's all I got. and it was it was it was so nice, but it it just like enraged me afterwards, too. It was this little girl and she's at Disney or whatever and it says, "Watch my daughter who has recently started to experience body image" She's [ __ ] eight by the way. "Watch my daughter who has recently started to experience body image issues and questioning if she's pretty see herself as a Disney princess." And apparently they do like a It's like a glam thing. Yeah, yeah. >> And then they turn her around and she lights up and I'm very happy and I'm like this is so cute. And then I remember the beginning of that and I'm like Who do we kill? Yeah, big time. >> Who's causing the body image issues? >> Yeah. Who needs to get run over by a monster truck? Ooh, what's going on? >> That'd be a good way to get them. Yeah. Uh I am fully Those Disney videos get me because there was one day Ruby was like, "Can I see videos of Disney princesses?" And I was like, "Sure, yeah, no problem." I like went on TikTok. I typed like Disney princess and it's you know, little kids meeting Disney princesses. >> Oh. And she's like enamored because in her head she's like they're in movies and they're in real life. and then they're there and like I can maybe one day and I'm [ __ ] hysterically crying. >> Yeah. And she and all she does is she looks at me and she's like "Are you crying?" Yeah. >> And I'm like, "Yeah, I am." Dad, they're crying. YOU'RE A BIG DEAL. >> TALKING TO MY DAD because my dad went a couple years ago with my my nephews, my sister and them and he said like seeing the kids make that connection in real life like it melts any of the toughest people in the world. No, like >> I just the toughest people in the world. >> Some of those videos are so [ __ ] You know there's a rule that like they can't break THE HUG FIRST. LOVE that [ __ ] Good. >> Love that. >> Bro, listen. Disney we can be critical of of so many things. >> We can be very critical of so many things. They got money. >> that they want and the the experience they want to create I haven't experienced it yet, but from what I understand the experience they want to create for children going to the parks and stuff like that, you have to tip a cap to that. Yes, maybe it's because they want them to come back and spend all their money, whatever, but it does mean something. You know what I mean? Like >> dude. The videos there's like compilations of children meeting like Disney characters and I'm like, "Oh my god, dude, I'm never going to stop crying." Never going to stop. Rob Zombie. Never going to stop. A name I haven't even THOUGHT ABOUT. DRAGULA. >> [screaming] >> I I I REMEMBER DRAGULA, BUT I never Bro. I was thinking of never going to stop because it was Edge's theme song. You think you know me? I'm on the highway to hell. I'm on the 95. Dude. Bro, you don't know Rob Zombie, do you? I know of >> You don't know [ __ ] just because of a horror movie. You don't know [ __ ] >> Why does he Why do I know Dragula? Was that in a video game or something? Like just a metal It probably was. It probably was. Dragula is such a good song. I know so many songs that I never otherwise would have known because of video games, you know? So Dragula's probably there. Um Madden is another one. Mad There was a Yeah, well, no, that was a banger that I knew period. But like I remember like Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 had a bunch of like those songs. >> Goldfinger. Which one was that? Oh, [ __ ] what's the song? What's the Goldfinger song? You'll You'll remember it cuz it's from the the the Tony Hawk's Tony Hawk's Goldfinger song. If it's the one I'm thinking of, I just didn't know the name. It's probably that one. It's the the one that I'm thinking of And here I am doing everything I can. Oh no, that's another one. Superman. That wasn't Tony Hawk. >> that I'm thinking of is just like note 17. I think it's the CKY like song where they had in their videos where it's just like You definitely know it at all. >> What's CKY? CKY was the like group of like skaters like Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Dico and all them that like made those videos before they were like Jackass. Damn. No, I don't know that one. Yeah, yeah, the Goldfinger song. I mean the famous ones are like all of MVP Baseball 2005. >> Tessie. >> I got a funny little feeling. >> I listened to that album recently and someone was like Becca was just like, "What the [ __ ] are you listening to?" >> [laughter] >> And I was just like cuz it was on opening day, the day like of baseball opening day. And I was just like, "I'm in the mood. I'm cooking hot dogs. I'm throwing on [ __ ] MVP Baseball the Bravery, you know?" MVP Baseball soundtrack? Yeah. Oh, it's so good. >> is that? 2004? 2005. Five, yeah. It was the year after cuz the year before is when the Red Sox won. What you going to do? Here you go. Um >> Let's go listen to some Tony Hawk Pro Skater [ __ ] There's probably some banging music. You remember that one? No, you don't know what the hell we're talking about. Go play your Mario Kart, dweeb. I have to? >> [clears throat] >> You have to? Mhm. Oh, the Kart-a-thon's coming up, right? >> Yes, it is. Oh, you got to practice? I do. Well, no, but You guys are showing up, right? You let me know when and where, baby. I'll pull up. Let him know where. Yeah, he knows where. >> It's yeah, everyone knows. Oh yeah, yeah, that's fair. All right, it's at your house. Which What's the address one more time? >> Also, what's going to happen if I just stomp out your controller? We'll have a We'll have a spare just in case things get a little I might just show up just to ruin the stream. Oh. Oh, good. >> He's going to kick over your whole streaming setup. That would do it. That would do it. >> play the voice notes I have of you saying all those Hispanic slurs at me. Now [laughter] you're the victim of this. >> Yeah, I'm glad it's moved on from me. >> [clears throat] >> Yeah. Now I'm just the I'm just the blue guy. Um anything any any anything Yeah, I'm not all right. >> [laughter] >> I got to chill. >> Anything any anything I got to chill. Um Well, I guess that's it for this episode. Uh thank you guys so much for watching and making this far. Frank Merkin A Frank Alvarez everywhere. Go check out the Patreon patreon.com/thebasementyard. In fact, you can find The Basement Yard all over social media. Ant find me at AntPrisco on Instagram. And you guys can follow me at Joe Santagato and go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time.