جلسات #مع_نفسي 09 ... بين تطنيش المُدخَلات والجهل وضعف الشخصية

Dr Abdul Rahman: Welcome The Host: Welcome Dr. Dr AbdulRahman: We’ll continue with inputs We’re done with inputs, right? The Host: We spent two

consecutive days talking about inputs

and how scared we are of them Dr AbdulRahman: I want to pause

at the issue of “We spent two consecutive days Inputs are very important, so much so that the root of understanding “how to think” is knowing

how to regulate these inputs This is related to a lot of

what we might talk about today and tomorrow in sha Allah:

the impact of inputs So I don’t want you to think “Why did we spend too much time with inputs?” Because when these inputs are regulated,

a lot of things will be regulated afterwards. The Host: Throughout the past

two days, I felt their importance and I started to really notice

the inputs I see around me one of the inputs that one can’t ignore or take their eyes away from is this outfit I wanted to ask you for a while

about the secret behind this outfit. Is it because you like the Chinese? Dr Abdul Rahman: Look sir, first of all: clothes don’t advance or delay

our progress in the material Rather in short it has to do with the inputs and their impact on character building Do you notice most of

our clothes during these times? It consists of repeated inputs that aren’t necessarily in

line with what we think. The Host: How? Dr Abdul Rahman: This is what is

present at the market You buy what is present at the market The Host: Correct. Dr Abdul Rahman: You don’t pay attention

if what you are buying -its trademark or brand…-

is related to what you believe? Rather you buy it just

because it’s on discount or because it’s cheap,

and this is a problem. This takes me to the issue

“what are we making of our children?” Our daughters in particular One of them comes to you saying: Okay she doesn’t want to wear the hijab What have you done to make her

like dressing modestly at a young age? When she was 3 years old

you would make her wear mini-skirts Why? Because it’s the outfits she

saw “mini-mouse and Barbie” wearing and it’s what’s available in the market The Host: But Dr., is she gonna

start making her like the hijab when she is only 3 years old?! Dr Abdul Rahman: No no,

I am talking about modesty Notice I haven’t mentioned the term hijab What I am saying is that she didn’t

make her get used to modesty She made her get accustomed to nudity When I say the following,

a lot of ladies in particular get annoyed What is the idea behind exposing

the bare legs of a 3-4 year old girl? Where is the logic

in dressing up a 3 year old in a two-piece bikini swimsuit?! I could understand if an older girl

wanted to dress up in a two-piece because she might want to show

certain areas but a little girl?! What does she have to dress like this? The issue is as follows The book said: “The bikini

is two-pieces and worn as it is” Why then? Because these are repeated inputs

that we developed affinity to I want to go away from this story

and come back to myself Leave the ladies alone This issue [my outfit] started

ever since we were young at the mosques Modesty was the norm and so was covering up what

should be covered of your body Before skinny jeans

and all these things showed up Additionally, I was blessed

by learning martial arts and Kung Fu when I was young so I leaned towards the

traditional Chinese outfit and then I started wearing

the Punjabi & Pakistani outfit and so on and when I went to med school

I was forced to wear a shirt and a necktie When I graduated, I left that

and went back to wearing what I prefer Especially after reading

“Zad Al-Ma’ad -Provisions for the Hereafter-” and Ibn Al Qayyim’s description of the prophet’s clothes -Peace be upon him- I found that we are in a valley and the prophet -Peace be upon him-

is in another valley Now you see practicing young Muslim men

praying but wearing really tight jeans or a tight suit, something

that accentuates the private part and you see him praying in front of you God knows if his prayer is accepted or not

just because we got used to these clothes so I tell people You don’t have to wear this particular outfit But at least wear something loose

get used to wearing loose clothes So when you ask a girl to “cover herself”

she would see you covering up first We can’t dress inappropriately ourselves

then go talk about girls The Host: So we can say that

they are religious inputs a type of your love to the prophet

-Peace be upon him- Dr Abdul Rahman:Religious inputs and

cultural influences from the martial arts These two things together

shaped who you see now By the way,

Since you brought up this matter: Do you know that what I am wearing

(fabric and design) is cheaper than ready-made t-shirts

on sale at a shopping mall? The Host: But it seems valuable Dr Abdul Rahman: It is valuable

because I am wearing it :) The Host:This confidence is part

of personal development Dr Abdul Rahman:

Leave that aside.. tell me sir The Host:The amount of inputs we receive daily is extremely large

like we said last time. If I depend on the ignoring method

and not focusing to all inputs, Will it have a positive or negative impact

on my psychological well-being? Dr Abdul Rahman:If you remember we said

that we want to liken it to driving a car When you drive a car you take from physics

what makes your driving safe We said: it is unreasonable to stop

in the middle of the road to look at an ad and wonder what is the matter with this girl and that boy

and this car… etc No, we won't be able to live like this Rather we pause at inputs that

make driving our lives safe That is what we agreed on If this was ignored, it will impact

psychological well-being from two ways in my perspective: First, the strength and

weakness of the character -and we can dedicate

today’s session to this- and the relationship between

ignoring inputs and psychological stress and what follows in

the circle of ignorance -there is something called

the circle of ignorance, we’ll talk about it tomorrow- and its relation to psychological disorders The Host: So it’s all negative impact Dr Abdul Rahman: If ignoring was

in the way I will mention Let's start with the relationship

between ignoring inputs and weak character If an input(s) entered without me pausing

at it and turning it into something clear It will produce lots of question marks

Question marks related to the unknown And the unknown is related to fear,

so I will turn into a scared person Who will control me? Whoever has knowledge or claims to have it The Host: Can we take an example? Dr Abdul Rahman: Let's take an example

I frequently use since 2002 and am never bored of using it, because I feel it is easily

understood by people. Let’s memorise the names of 5 people their names signify who they are: Ignoramus, Know-it-all,

Ignorant, Wise and the Father of Ignorance Once again: Ignoramus, Know-it-all,

Ignorant, Wise and the Father of Ignorance Wise invited Ignoramus, Know-it-all and Ignorant over for Iftar during Ramadan -I think this is a great example

for people to hear during Ramadan- When the call to Maghrib prayer started What would automatically happen?! The Host: Break their fast?! Dr Abdul Rahman: Those fasting

will break their fast So Ignoramus reached out to break his fast Know-it-all asked him: What are you doing? - Breaking fast - No son, the prophet -peace be upon him-

prayed first then broke his fast Just because he said “the prophet

-peace be upon him-” “then he must be knowledgeable” Ignoramus would think that because

He is ignorant Negatively affected, he left the food and became a passive

follower to Know-it-all The Host: Just because

he was ignorant Dr Abdul Rahman: And the other is

a know-it-all without knowledge so they left the food and went to pray So Ignorant asks: “Where are you going?” - “To pray” - Let’s break our fast first and then pray - No, let's pray first.... The prophet-peace be upon him-

prayed first - No, the prophet would

break his fast first So they left the prayer and

went back to eat Notice the hesitance visible

on Ignoramus now after changing his opinion twice They got up to eat

for the purpose of breaking their fast in order to do what? To pray So they sat down and Isha

prayer was around the corner Wise approached and asked,

What are you doing? Will you not pray? No, because the prophet-peace be upon him- would break his fast before praying No, the prophet would break

his fast on dates or sips of water

and then pray They got up to pray after

changing their mind again especially Ignoramus and Know-it-all The following day, Father of ignorance

invited them over Dr Abdul Rahman: What do you expect to

happen at Maghrib prayer? Dr Abdul Rahman:

What will the three do? They will be influenced

by what Wise previously said Where they break their fast

on something simple and then pray That is what actually happened until Father of Ignorance

asked them: Will you not eat? “No, the prophet -peace be upon him-

would break his fast and then pray” So he asked them:

“Who told you this? That is a weak hadith so

let's continue with our food” They left the prayer again to eat! Imagine how recurrent

this situation is in our daily lives In our prayers, in our book selections, in choosing a sheikh,

in personal development… etc Remember when we

said “Read before the Self”? It's for this reason Imagine what would happen in the life of someone

who has no knowledge! He becomes a victim

to others' ignorance due to his lack of knowledge… Back to the point, is it required of him

to become a Sheikh or philosopher? No, but to be aware of

his actions at least, And this a direct call of action

for people to start from today writing “What are the things

I should know that I don't know?” And you place them on a priority list

of “the things I should know” I cannot be praying

if I do not know the principles of praying, how the prophet prayed,

and the principles of ablution! But I know how much Barcelona

or Madrid pays a certain footballer I am writing a post and with the help

of Allah I can share it soon titled “The angels won’t ask you about..” A list of many things

that would weird people out if you don’t know them telling you: “Really! How can you not know?!

You are missing out.” Missing out! Are you kidding!?

There are people alive and happy that don’t know about the things

you think life is built on To sum it up: One of the most important

dangers to ignoring inputs Is the Unknown

and its effect on the personality This leaves us to comment

about one person (Wise) From his name: he is wise

and has knowledge If Wise was with them

at Father of Ignorance’s Would he be influenced like them? No He would have said

to Father of Ignorance: “Bless us with your silence, The hadith is correct,

and you can open Sahih al-Bukhari and the section of

Fasting in Riyad As-salihin and the hadith is very clear Where the prophet -peace be upon him-

would break his fast on such and such” That way Wise would have proven

to be a strong and capable character And people would say he

has a strong foundation and no one would dare to

challenge him during a gathering… Why?

Because of his knowledgeable character So is the relation clear Between ignorance, ignoring inputs

and a weak character? The Host: So we can say that ignoring

is strongly connected to Ignorance Dr Abdul Rahman:

Because the input that entered either turns into a knowledge

or an unknown and if this unknown has a

connection to my daily life [...] For example: “What’s your specialisation doctor?

- I am a Psychologist - What is a Psychologist?

- You know… a psychologist” Dr Abdul Rahman:- Will you end up

accepting such an answer? -The Host: Of course not Because this is something

deeply related [to my life] This brings me back

to Personal development You find people attending

energy healing sessions 3 to 5 days and you ask them - What is meant by “Energy”?

- Energy! You know, energy is the thing… He has no definition! How can you attend something

for days without the least capability of defining it? Let’s talk a little about Sharia students What is this first thing

taught to Sharia students? “Every science has ten components:

Its defining limits, structured contents, then its mastery's fruits” The first thing is defining

limits which are what? The Definition By the way, this takes me over

to the concept of “Compound Illiteracy” A certificate holder

who has “Compound Illiteracy/ignorance” During the days of the revolution

a State Appreciation Award winner was hosted on a show and the anchorwoman asked him:

What is our problem with the Islamists? His response was: “These are terrorists,

imagine the first thing they teach to their students boundaries (al-hadd)

they teach him how to cut hands and necks!” I was in the U.S. at that time, so I said to my wife

“Oh my God, what is this Compound Ignorance! Does the man not know that boundaries (al-hadd) means a definition...

a comprehensive definition Imagine that an information like this one

made this person -and the anchorwoman, whom does not understand a thing- clap and say:

“Truly these people are dangerous” To summarize: Ignoring the

inputs leads to ignorance Ignorance leads to a weak character which then turns it into a passive follower

and could lead to psychological disorders -but this is for a later session- The Host: Alright, the ignorance

we are talking about is it related only to Islamic knowledge

or to everything we hear? Dr Abdul Rahman: There is a type

of ignorance we will talk about later when talking about psychological disorders We divide ignorance to 2 types:

General ignorance and specific ignorance General ignorance is ignorance

about “who I am and why I am” Specific ignorance is ignorance

about a certain matter Like we said: prayer, fasting, principles, specialisation, energy…

This is specific ignorance, which will be discussed in tomorrow's session

on psychological disorders in sha Allah The Host: We wait till tomorrow

then in sha Allah Dr Abdul Rahman:You’re welcome The Host: Thank you Dr.