جلسات #مع_نفسي 01 ... ما قصة الجلسات؟ ومن أنا؟ طبيب نفسي أم معالج نفسي؟

Welcome and may this year be filled with blessings and may Allah accept our good deeds. Welcome Doctor may your year be filled with blessings and I am glad to be here with you. and I am glad to be here with you. I’ve been looking forward to this opportunity for a while I’ve heard a lot about you and I've read and watched some of your talks It is a happy occasion that we are meeting at the beginning of the month of Ramadan and I hope that we'll spend this entire month together in these psychological counseling sessions But before we start these meetings, I am actually curious to know more about you so if you may please introduce yourself: who is “Dr. Abdul Rahman”? Alright... again a warm welcome and may your year be filled with blessings. Look sir, my name is AbdulRahman Thakir Al-Hashemi my job title is Medical Doctor, Psychotherapist and Educational Psychology Counselor.

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I moved around several countries I was born in Iraq then moved to Kuwait afterwards and then studied in Jordan and completed my studies in Lebanon. I worked in Dubai then travelled to the U.S. and now I am in between the Middle East and the States. As for my family status: I am married to Ghada (Ophthalmologist, Eye Surgeon) and together we have Mariam and Hagar (12 and 8 years old). I work in a field I call “Fiqh An-Nafs” which is a perspective I've been presenting for almost 20 years and is about looking at the human self from an Islamic Perspective based on Sharia, Science and so on I currently supervise a center called “Makany Center” which is a clinic for psychological services The place that we are at right now. Yes… I will introduce you to this place now it is a place for therapy, talks, lectures, events, child therapy and so on This is AbdulRahman in a nutshell. There are several things that caught my eye while I am here with you. First, I do not see you wearing a “white lab coat” and I do not see a “chaise longue” like we are used to seeing. The stereotypical image of such a meeting is completely different, does this have anything to do with the psychological work? Look, there are two things we’ll be talking about later by the will of God (In sha Allah) the impact of media on formulating the way we think and what you are saying right now is part of this impact, like it or not, the media taught people that a doctor must be wearing a lab coat and there this idea is partially true but there is also another part that is incorrect because in fact the lab coat is often worn in places where there are germs, microbes etc. But in psychiatry, these things don’t exist and there are so many fields where doctors don’t wear the “white coat” and we are one of them. The doctor who graduates and works in psychiatry or psychological counseling doesn’t need to wear a white lab coat Honestly, this is one of the things that make me laugh often when I see actors or TV guests presenting themselves as psychiatrists and decide to wear a lab coat, why are you wearing a lab coat? So they can showcase to the audience that they are “doctors” and so on? This is the first issue.

But the second issue of the “chaise longue” or the sofa is related to the legacy of Freud who used to practice what is called “hypnotherapy” and “free association” that makes people speak while their mind is unconscious. So then the media took this point and made it as if this is how psychotherapy always is, which is incorrect In fact, in the clinic we sit exactly like we are sitting here today; without a table in the middle or an office, it is not as if you are going to a lawyer’s office, or any formal office like a real estate agent’s, etc. No, you are supposed to sit in a way that makes you feel like you are at home, comfortable, as if you are sitting at home… Is that true? Yes, exactly as if you are sitting with your wife, kids, mom, dad and so on. That is it to be brief. Also, one of the things that caught my attention is that in your title it is stated “Dr. Abdul Rahman Medical Doctor and Psychotherapist”. I do not understand the difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychotherapist, is there actually a difference? Yes of course there is a difference, and stating the difference is part of maintaining integrity and honesty Because if you state that you are a “Psychiatrist” then to anyone who knows what this title entails it tells them that you have studied medicine completely and after studying medicine you specialized in psychiatry just like one specializes in surgery, Orthopedics, Ophthalmology etc.. A separate specialty Psychiatry is a medical specialty... why? Because you study anatomy, physiology, pathology, pharmacology etc And these are subjects that a doctor often specializes in 4 years (3-5 depending on the program), it is a comprehensive specialty that allows for medicine prescription and practice of psychotherapy, which is talk therapy etc… As for “Psychological Counselor”, it is more general... meaning that you could be a psychology graduate -general psychology not medical- and then you specialize in educational psychology for example and then you are called a “Psychological Counselor” when in fact you are a “Family Counselor” but it is called “Psychological Counselor” these days. You mean an “Educational Psychologist” but from a behavioral aspect. You are supposed to be called an “Educational or Family Counselor” for instance. But it is possible that you graduate with a degree in psychology or medicine and then study what is called “Clinical Psychology”, for 2 or 3 years, depending on the program you enroll at and then you become qualified as a “Psychotherapist”, “Psychotherapist”, which is psychotherapy without medication. Based on this, what is the difference between Psychiatry and Psychotherapy? Psychiatry is basically a 4-years medical degree then specialization, whereas psychotherapy could be either based on a medical degree or any other degree followed by specializing in clinical psychology. A psychiatrist is actually allowed to prescribe medicine for psychological disorders whereas a psychotherapist cannot do that until only recently some States in America started to give the option of studying two more semesters after which you can prescribe meds which caused problems for psychiatrists because after all their hard work to be qualified someone is now coming to compete with them in prescribing medications. This is the difference between the two, to put it briefly. As for me, because I've studied medicine, psychology and educational psychology followed by clinical psychology I label myself as a “Medical Doctor” *and* “Counselor” because if I say I am a “Psychiatric Counselor” then whoever knows the difference would think that I am a doctor and I’ve finished my 4 years of med school in Psychiatry and experienced working in the field and published papers in medical journals and I’ve become a counselor, and this is misleading That is why the “and” is important, so so I am a “Doctor, Psychotherapist and Educational Psychology Counselor” because I have knowledge in both the psychotherapy side and the educational side What are the topics covered by Psychiatry and the topics covered by Psychotherapy? Is there a difference between them? Very briefly, Psychiatry covers psychological disorders. And Psychotherapy? Psychotherapy covers these disorders, however, during your studies you cover psychological theories or schools of thought (Psychoanalytical, Cognitive Behavioral etc..). Psychiatry covers these topics too however it focuses more on Anxiety Depression, OCD, Personality Disorders, Schizophrenia etc. People often associate the term “Psychiatry” with the presence of a psychological disorder whereas a psychotherapist is more general than this it is possible that someone might visit them without suffering from a disorder they just want to consult you in matters that are worrying them. They come to open up and talk for example. They often come to open up and get matters of their chest, exactly. This is the general difference in short. Can I ask a question? If I studied Psychology then took a masters in Psychotherapy would I be able to provide the same treatment as a Doctor with the same Master's degree? Yes you can but to a certain extent. There are certain matters that you won't have knowledge of unless you assisted a psychiatrist such as psychotic disorders that are psychosis and schizophrenia and so on, these diseases definitely require a doctor to prescribe medication. You can assist him which is what is practiced right now and this topic is very broad and there are many details to be said but I don’t want to get into it right now. But you can assist a psychiatrist and there are some matters (such as OCD, phobias, anxiety, certain levels of depression, some personality disorders etc..) a psychotherapist often does a better job, unfortunately, better than a psychiatrist, because they require more time and people need to talk more… Yes a psychotherapist can play that role… Masha Allah, the clinic that belongs to Dr. Abdul Rahman has a good reputation I would like to curiously ask, what are the matters that people search for the most at Dr. Abdul Rahman’s clinic? Honestly, in my clinic and in other clinics, people are looking for happiness and tranquility… to put it briefly, the problem lies in their definition of happiness... The little child wants to be happy, the old grandma wants to be happy, the father wants to be happy, the teenagers want to be happy the employee wants to be happy, the newlywed wants to be happy etc… Everyone! But the problem is if all of them want to be happy, then why aren't they? I believe -if Allah facilitates things for us- with these frequent meetings, we'll talk about this matter in more detail but to put it briefly, people are looking for happiness. Is happiness really that difficult to find? It is not that difficult but also not easy to the extent that, just like they say, with a ‘click of a button’ we can be happy No, it requires effort, just like anything else in life. Everything in life needs effort But the problem is that people look for, and I summarize it like this often “people look for an easygoing religion that requires minimal effort” People want to enter paradise without working for it and and they want to be happy without working for it. They want to lose weight without exercising. And the problem is that we live in an age where there is a large amount of inputs and accumulations. So now, even if you want to better your lifestyle, these inputs take you to a different place. You enter the grocery store and find a large amount of refined sugar, processed food and so on and you find them delicious and want to eat them but at the same time you want to be fit with a nice body, six packs and all of that. There are cosmic laws that people need to believe in and know that if they start following them gradually then they can attain happiness but the issue requires effort, but it is not difficult. Generally, is it natural for the self to lean towards misery and tragedy or is it originally happy and tranquil? I have a video on YouTube entitled “Is the human self that tragic?”. Yes, the self has a tendency of doing so…. if I let myself, for example, to follow a dramatic path, then I will cry and want someone to console me and need… etc This is the nature of “self” because it leans towards relaxation and having others take care of it, but is this all true? Actually, a lot of what we go through in our daily lives does not necessarily lead to this, however, and we might cover this in future meetings, we have set the bar for desired expectations so high and lowered the bar for rational expectations and possibilities, deeming happiness unattainable and sulk easy; whereas in reality -and we'll talk about this soon In sha Allah- situations are much easier than that, but we have been constantly set on getting triggered by people thereby making us cry… Why? Because we have a buildup of past events that were not solved, causing us to cry at any moment… But why didn’t you cry at the moment you were supposed to?... “No, there were people around me and how would I look in front of them if I cry”… etc. So, there are a lot of things that unfortunately force people to act dramatically, but is the “self” tragic to that extent? No… Do you mean that much of what we think is a disorder is actually not? How do we know if we are suffering from a psychological disorder? We differentiate between two things, there is what we call (psychological symptoms) and the other (psychological disorder). As for psychological symptoms, it is possible for us all to go through phases of sadness or fear, to be extra meticulous or have minor obsessions in some areas, but when it reaches to a point that it interferes with my daily life on a personal, cognitive, emotional, behavioral or relational level, that is when a psychological symptom develops into a psychological disorder and might require visiting a specialist or talking to someone with an expert in this field. I feel that the topic of discussing the Self is quite big... Does it really have a sense of complexity? The Human Self is truly a miracle Subhan Allah. It is a system, with differences in the comparison, similar to the smartphone, easy going and simple to deal with but if you were to take a deeper look, you will find it to be very complex. So you can perceive it either as a simple device or a complex one…

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the question is from which angle do you see it? When it comes to “Fiqh An-Nafs”, we present a method of understanding and dealing with the “self” in an easy manner, whereas if you were to hand over this creation to anyone but its creator, you would be entering through a maze that would make things more difficult although you think it is making it easier Very well doctor, we'll continue with each other in sha Allah and I am determined to proceed in these sessions with you. In sha Allah, but be careful you are going to work for it! Don't worry, I will work for it. There will be homework and every day you will be given a prescription you should complete (1, 2, 3,4...). With medication? No, it’s not medication, but life advice pertaining to the “self”, which I believe that if taken as a preventive measure, it could protect oneself from many issues including psychological disorders. I am ready and good to go in sha Allah but I want to ask you about what to expect in the upcoming sessions? Look sir, we'll talk about human psychology: How to understand Human Psychology? What is Human Psychology? From where does its problems develop? We will talk about the process of cognition and reasoning in large proportion, because your way of thinking will either make you happy or sad. So, we'll talk about the cognitive process, reasoning, inputs, controlling external influences that affect you directly or indirectly How to deal with the media. There will be advice for fathers and mothers as to how to deal with the media (whose son or daughter sits in front of the television). There will be advice directed to those people and to those who are about to get married and to those interested in knowing how to set their goals and achieve them in life. All this will lead us to the topics of Self and Creationism, what is creationism and what do we mean by “need, pleasure and pain” and how do we understand from these topics the concepts of tranquility and whether we are actually distressed by nature? And does being born into hardships mean that we must always be in a continuous state of hardship? Is the pursuit of Happiness as impossible as people think it is? We will try to cover all of these topics in the upcoming visits in sha Allah, but you must know that all of it could be summed up in the next few seconds: I want people to understand themselves, to control their inputs and the way they think. Inputs which are? What you receive from…. we'll discuss it later in sha Allah. To know its position between what it believes to be the Higher power, for example Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, itself and the people around it. To understand how to accept its weaknesses, learn how to unload itself from the buildup of emotions and to express itself. Learn how to nourish itself with the minimum amount of daily tasks, this way I believe that people will find themselves in a worldly heaven before entering heaven in the afterlife in sha Allah. Yet, it is necessary and crucial to state that: If an individual has been diagnosed with a psychological disorder these meetings could help but in the end they must consult a specialist, so don’t come up and say: “I’ve listened to what was in these sessions and so on” So we are not providing therapy… No, no, these sessions are a form of preventative psychological support but of course there are conditions that require consulting a specialist. If there is anyone attending these sessions and has a psychological disorder, we cannot say that we are providing them with therapy or is it a counseling session? We are at least providing psychological support and preventive advice, that if taken to heart can help individuals even with their disorder but in the end these are not “specialized counseling sessions” because our sessions are only a few minutes whereas a counseling session lasts fifty minutes to an hour So we can say that we provide: “Psychological Support and Prevention” in sha Allah which might have a larger impact than imagined. I've a question doctor, do I really need this subject? Meaning that by hearing these sessions, will it have a great impact on me? Based on many years of work experience and constructive feedback, praise to Allah, the results prove to be very good Alhamdulillah, and we'll see this in future sessions in sha Allah. I want the prescription then. I advise you carry a paper and pencil with you. I've already prepared myself. And write on each page, for example, Me as a father, As a mother, As a university student, As a high school student, I am dealing with puberty and adolescence etc. Note down these various sentences,

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so that we know how each self can make the most out of these sessions and I wish there would be a question “What do I really want?”. So, let each individual note down what he/she really wants from these sessions so that he/she can look out for the answer to their questions. We have a rule that says: “Those who search with no question in mind will not find an answer”. For example, you mean what I want from my work, family etc.? Exactly, what you want from work, family, marriage, daily life, work stress… etc., I believe we'll cover all of this in the future in sha Allah Thank you Doctor! We will see you tomorrow in sha Allah. As-salamu alaykum. In sha Allah, wa alaykum el salam.