جلسات #مع نفسي 06 ... من المقدمات إلى عتبات الوجود والمخلوقية = {اقرأ} أولا

Dr Abdul Rahman: Welcome The Host: Welcome Dr. Dr Abdul Rahman: Did we not have homework yesterday? The Host: Yes, but before that I need to understand something from you We need a recap of what we covered so far of the theoretical introduction thatwe covered earlier.

Before jumping to the heart of the material And then I will answer the question Dr Abdul Rahman: Alright This is an important pause

to understand what was covered Since some will wonder:“What is the benefit of Theoretical Introductions?” The importance of theoretical introduction

is to understand the language of the speaker: Abdul Rahman says this and that,

what are his sources? So a summary of what passed: We talked about Psychiatry.

And Psychotherapy and the difference between them? And who is presenting this material? And who generally benefits from it ? And what are the conditions to benefit? We talked about honesty and willpower And the importance of writing down notes And what are the things related to the home,mosque,school,university,education etc. And we talked about the difference

between what we are discussing and personal development Its pros and cons

and our issue with it And we spoke briefly about the different schools of psychology For those searching for a certain specialisation or desiring to study and so on And in the end we started talking about “Fiqh An-Nafs”

which is the material we will present And we stopped at how “Fiqh An-Nafs”started Its own trilogy “ Read, By the Self,

Knowing one another” And here we return to the homework

“Why start with (Read) before (By the Self)?” We said the answer was to avoid getting to know oneself

before learning how to think” But there was another answer

I wanted from you The Host: I could not find the right answer But I think Allah addressed the mind

in the very first verses of the Quran Read, in the Name of your Lord Who created— * created humans from a clinging clot. So I think that an individual should free his/her mind first to understand his/her surroundings Dr Abdul Rahman: Alright, let me comment on your answer first and then tell you my answer Let's agree on something that may sound unusual to the audience.

(Especially during Ramadan) Let’s put the religion aside until further notice

The Host:Put it aside! Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, what do I mean by “putting it aside”? During the course from the start of “Read” till its end, we will not bring up religion. And we discuss it like any other subject Why? Because we picture the person on the other side possibly as a doubtful atheist,

an agnostic, an apatheist or anything else As we reach the end, that is when we say:

Allah said and the prophet said This is where your answer falls into place Because Allah mentioned “Read” before “By the soul and how He formed it” Then it's possible Otherwise it's possible for someone to say I myself am not convinced with the Quran that you speak of. So why do you argue that I “Read”? The answer and Allah knows best is that many psychological disorders

go back to a wrong way of thinking So if the mindset is fixed the Self will follow Again, Most of the problems we encounter in Cognitive Behavioral Theory Most of the problems we encounter in Cognitive Behavioral Theory,

which according to its name starts with what? The Host: Cognition first

followed by Behaviour Dr Abdul Rahman: “Read” then is prioritized over “Self”,

its purpose is to understand how to think Because if you aware of your actions,

then the “Self” will be at ease Due to the proper reasoning.In summary, that is the answer The Host: From this explanation,I understand that we will tackle solving the issues. One after the other We will tackle an issue and analyse its psychological treatment,

or are we doing it another way? Dr Abdul Rahman: Not really, that’s not the method I follow One of the problems with personal development Again I am back to “personal development” In my opinion is that it ruined peoples’ minds To be fair, it's not the only one Schools ruined peoples’ mindsUniversities ruined peoples’ minds Why? People now are always waiting for the answers, as a checklist We have a pen and paper, doctor tell us: "How to have your husband

love you in 30 secs” We do not educate this way We will not discuss matters like “Doctor, I am easily agitated what do I do?” We cover these topics during live consultations sessions And not in a curriculum that is trying to teach people

how to understand the root cause So when we discuss these problems

We will not tackle them individually Rather we will talk about how to understand the whole picture? By understanding the root cause If we understood the root cause, then we will understand this problem

and that problem and that problem etc. And you will see when we start implementing it, little by little How easy it is to solve all your problems with clarity and ease,

if you were to know the root cause Once again, and I apologise beforehand

If I were to follow a method not to your expectation We will not adopt the method of "Tell me what to do" If a wife is extremely jealous of her husband to the point of anxiety and depression?” We will simply tackle these problems when we go into."The others and I”“Allah, the other and I” We will discuss this and many others. But if were to talk about each problem individually Taking the previous example,let's assume she solved her problem And later found out that she is very jealous of her neighbours and relatives The problem itself was not solved

because the root cause was not solved. The Host:It’s like building the basics…. Dr Abdul Rahman: Exactly Dr Abdul Rahman: So what are the basics we should be learning? Dr Abdul Rahman: Alright, when we start with the curriculum we start by defining two words And based on these two words we will understand everything that follows The first word is “Existence” The Host: This falls under “Read”? Dr Abdul Rahman: No, “Read” and “Self” will fall under these two words The Host: Alright Dr Abdul Rahman: The first word is “Existence” and the second is “Creationism”? You will ask me if Um-Ahmed’

That’s listening to us now Or Um-Ala or Um-Hasanayn will understand the meaning of “Existence” or “Creationism”? The purpose is not to understand the meaning of “Existence” The purpose is not to understand the meaning of “Existence”,

but to realise the effect of understanding this word on having a happy life Be patient with me on this one, in the beginning I need to ask what is the “Self”? I pictured addressing “Human Self” since it existed in the desert Picture with me the person know as the Feral man, a person that exists just like that Notice what I said? The Host: An existing person Dr Abdul Rahman: Existing person….

The moment you exist that is the beginning And what difference does this make?

All the difference The fact that you exist means you are aware

Which bring us to the topic of awareness And do we need to talk about awareness to solve psychological problems? Of course Three quarter of people's problems these days

are related to lack of awareness of their actions The Host:Is that possible? Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, of course. Our youth today are hanging out at the malls for 4 hours And if you ask them: “What are you doing?”

“I am walking” “What are you doing”

“Nothing” “You spent 4 hours with your friends here doing what?” “Nothing really” He is not aware of what he is doing, “You don’t mind spending 5 hours playing video games PUBG, Fortnite or the others?”

“No” Is there a problem with this?

He is not aware. Don’t you feel like you are too attached

to your barbie doll So much so, that you start hating your God-given appearance because of a doll? “Huh! No, I haven't thought of it this way before” This is awareness.. So the problem starts with the beginning of my existence Am I aware or unaware Another matter about existence is

that it is linked to the personality. The Host: How? Dr Abdul Rahman: I exist, so what?

So I am an entity, right? Our youth these days don’t like to disturb anyone Do you know the reserved creature ?! The Host: They please everyone. Dr Abdul Rahman: Right, I want everyone to be pleased Humanism. What is your opinion on homosexulity?

“Every human being is free to do what they please” Why my son?“Because I have a gay friend

and I don’t want to make him sad” “I have an atheist colleague

So I don't want to talk about religion” After a while, this person will

be filled with contradictions That accumulate, don't you see

that you are so contradictory? Don't you see whenever you are sitting with so-and-so ,you are repressed And as soon as he is gone

you are comfortable! So there is an important thing about the matter of existence,

which is its relationship with personality How? What does the word person

mean [in Arabic]? Stand out.

Something that stands out So one of the features of personality is that because of you standing out, people clash with you And some want to be reserved to not annoy anyone. The Host: You mean that if I don’t clash or annoy anyone, then I have a problem? Dr Abdul Rahman: You probably have a problem, which is that you are non-existent Why? Do we mean by this that we are calling for people to clash? Of course not What we are trying to teach people is how to be yourself

amongst others without flattery or hypocrisy And at the same time you have the skills to handle differences of opinion Through which you can deal with others without any problems. You reminded me with an incident that is said

to have happened to Al-Hassan Al-Basri but I am not sure He was walking to someone’s funeral So the person next to him said:

“May Allah have mercy on him, he never annoyed anyone” So he said to him: “Man, you have

slandered him!” He asked: “Why have I slandered him?” Because if he “never annoyed anyone”, he doesn't have a personality Another person asked someone

“How are you with your neighbors?” He answered: “Good, just fine” So he said: “So you don’t enjoin good and forbid evil?” Because it's really hard for people to be pleased

with you this much unless you are a reserved creature That walks alongside the wall and so on And it's unfortunate that some

raise their kids in this way They’re creating a superficial creature by arguing

that what’s important is to eat and drink The Host:To live Dr Abdul Rahman: And make a living But in reality how did revolutions break out? So that we can get rid of this “people pleaser” mentality that we were raised with So the entity of existence first leads to the entity of awareness which leads to personality And brings to light important questions asked by an aware individual ,why do I exist? Where did I come from?

Who brought me here? Is there another universe besides the one I am in? Is there a God? Can you imagine that most of what I am talking about right now

is not asked by most of our youth today Because they are indifferent, there is something called apatheism “I no longer care about asking such questions” Why?(we will enter in to the topic of creationism later) Because what matters to me is to eat, drink and sleep and I don’t want anything more The Host:Alright doctor if I understood the topic of existentialism and existence Dr Abdul Rahman: By the way its existence and being Forget about existentialism because it will make us go into the existentialist ideology that has a lot problems The Host:Alright existence.If I understood these terms well, Then what are the topics that would be well-understood by me? Dr Abdul Rahman: Nice, this will take me to the part

about being aware of my surroundings like I said. And this in turn takes me to the trio that the human being designed the computer based on the way that he thinks Inputs, processing, outputs This trio summarizes the way we think and the way our self is formed It is basically inputs but from the home, environment, street, Media, TV, school, university,

religion and preachings And there are processes occuring inside us

and there are outputs that are produced by us This trio is what generally shapes our self Influencing itself and its surroundings If I understood this through understanding existence

and what are the matters that I think about And what are the matters that I can ignore and matters I can pause at And matters that I don’t pause at I believe this will be a good startfor every human To know what are the matters keeping me busy and

what are the matters that shouldn’t be keeping me busy The Host: Alright Dr., if you were to present a simple explanation for these terms Does it mean if I saw inputs influencing me Dr Abdul Rahman: Lets go over them quickly

Inputs are everything that the self receives This means that my voice to you = input My image to you = input The clothes you are wearing right now and feeling = input Alright anything that enters the self through the senses = input The Host: Nice. Dr Abdul Rahman:The processes occurring inside me

(and we will dedicate special sessions for them) Are sensing, thinking and reasoning,for whatever enters, does not only enter and exit Rather will be processed.The processes that occur produce outputs Thoughts, feelings and behaviours (and special sessions will also be dedicated to this inshallah, if this is well-understood) And I know that on the surface it may seem difficult but if understood I argue that people will be surprised one day How they were annoyed by something that should not be annoying How he was so angry stuck in traffic When he could have stayed calm if he understood this trio. Alright, we will understand this trio tomorrow? Dr Abdul Rahman:Inshallah. The Host: We will sit for a longer time, but before we conclude today I hope you can give us today’s prescription. Dr Abdul Rahman: Today’s prescription is related to the trio that we stopped at I just want you to think about all the inputs that pass by you That you thought that it crosses by easily When in fact it may have a negative impact on you? Once again, what are the inputs that may pass by you in your daily life And you think that it passes by without any effect When in fact it influences you in a negative manner? I will wait for the answer tomorrow. The Host:Inshallah. Dr Abdul Rahman: Welcome. The Host: Thank you Doctor. Dr Abdul Rahman: Welcome.