New Rule: Assassination Generation | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

And finally, new rule. Luigi Mangione,

Cole Thomas Allen, Tyler Robinson, and the ghost of Thomas Crooks must form a boy band called

"New Kids on the Glock." (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) Just to drive home the point, these are not your

father's political assassins. Things have changed. For one thing,

today's assassins have popular support with the kids. Up to 40 percent

of America's young adults say, "Violence is okay

to achieve a political goal." Wow. Seems like five minutes ago

when one of the big causes of the left was gun control,

but now guns are the answer? (SCOFFS) I guess, 'cause Luigi

is a fucking rock star. He's the OG hot assassin. (CHUCKLES)

The young assassins coming up even name-check him

in their manifestos. When this guy was arrested

for burning down a giant warehouse,

he said it was like when "Luigi popped

that motherfucker." (AUDIENCE LAUGH) Before this college student

threw a Molotov cocktail at Sam Altman's mansion, he talked about

"Luigi-ing some tech CEOs." And the asshole currently

on trial for allegedly starting

the big fire out here last year

was Luigi's biggest fanboy. Good to see the kids have role

models, huh? (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) Another way this new breed of content creator assassins

is different, they have jokes. (SCOFFS) Cole Allen called himself

a "friendly federal assassin" and told his friends

he was going to DC for "a personal emergency,"

wink wink. His manifesto opens with,

"Hello everybody!" It sounded like that form letter I get every Christmas telling me

how everyone is doing in a family I don't care about. (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) Tyler Robinson wrote

little jokes on the bullets he fired

at Charlie Kirk. Things like, "If you're reading

this, you're gay, LOL." I mean, John Wilkes Booth

was an asshole, but at least

when he did the deed, he said something serious. "Sic semper tyrannis." Not, "I fucked your mom." (AUDIENCE APPLAUD) Cole Allen took selfies before enacting his diabolically

clever plan of running fast. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) You know, Cole,

why do I think this is more about you than the cause? You're running through

the metal detector, but maybe you're really

chasing clout. Allen wrote that he was

"consumed by rage thinking about everything

this administration has done." Yeah, join the club. Donald Trump is infuriating. I know this personally. That's why whenever

I'm around him, I'm so nervous I need

a drink right away. (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) If you're doing that much rage

thinking about Trump, you're not really mad at him. You're mad at your life. This is about being 31

and still living with your mom in Torrance. Life was supposed

to come out better. This guy went to Caltech,

for Christ's sake. He dreamed of being

a video game designer, but really was

a substitute teacher. Do you think if he'd ever sold, actually, a video game

and got rich, he'd be doing this? Look, I feel

for that generation. You guys grew up

with the iPhone, which fucks people up,

and now AI. No wonder you're always

wearing a hoodie in the fetal position. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) Plus, as long as you can

remember, the president has either

been dead or this guy. (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) So... Sympathy for you, yes. But also, it's always been thus. Sadly, your parents and teachers

didn't prepare you for this, so you have no idea how hard

or easy you have it. But because you're so entitled, you just assume

you have it tougher than anybody ever did.

You don't. In fact, your generation lives

an historically easy life. You can get sushi or a weighted blanket

delivered in hours. You can do your banking sitting

on the toilet. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) They sell weed in a store now. (AUDIENCE CHEER AND CLAP) In a financial pinch, you can sell pictures

of your feet. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) Your biggest hardship

is when the Wi-Fi drops and you have to briefly

experience the 20th century. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) And yet you've convinced

yourselves that your current level

of discomfort justifies

revolutionary violence. Cole Allen's life only sucked by his own unreasonable

standards. He wasn't on welfare,

he was on LinkedIn. (AUDIENCE CLAP) For his assassination attempt,

he stayed at the Hilton. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) If your assassination comes with Hilton Honors

rewards points... (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) Gen Z lives are not that bad. Most of our lives

here in America are not. How we live right now, in the year

we're actually living in, in the country

we're actually living in, doesn't warrant

condoning political violence. I can see it if you live under

a truly oppressive regime, communism, fascism, Catholicism. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) But that's not where we are now. You're not storming the beaches

at Normandy. You're not standing

in bread lines. You know, just like our No Kings

we had here, the protests,

they also had them in Iran. But over there, the protesters

got shot in the street. And yes, ICE did that too,

twice. The Iranian thugs

did it 30,000 times. Have some perspective. Get real. (AUDIENCE CHEER AND APPLAUD) Stop blaming America

for all your fuck-ups. What this is really about

for today's young assassins is when life lets you down and doesn't properly reward you for being the awesome person

you're sure you are, there's one big save left. Convince yourself you were meant for a cause

bigger than yourself. And for Cole Thomas Allen,

it was, "I'm fighting Hitler." And I get why that's a tempting

thing to cosplay. If Trump is Hitler, then you're

Tom Cruise in Valkyrie. Nobody trying to take him out. (AUDIENCE CLAP) -Who's that supposed to be?

-Yeah. (AUDIENCE LAUGH) I-- I get mistaken

for Tom Cruise a lot. It's a theme show.

What can I say? (AUDIENCE LAUGH) But Trump isn't Hitler,

and you're not Tom Cruise, and you don't really live

on the desert moon of an evil umpire. You live in Torrance, which I understand

is not exactly L.A. or London, but please, you're not in Haiti

or Afghanistan. You're at Coachella. (AUDIENCE LAUGH AND CLAP) Life doesn't really suck so bad. You would just rather

be a martyr than a nobody. The whole tone

of Cole Allen's manifesto was, "Sorry, guys,

but America needs me. A hero has risen." You're not a hero. You're just the guy

who runs out into the field during a baseball game

to get attention and in ten seconds

gets tackled by security, except in your case, no,

that's exactly your case. (AUDIENCE LAUGH)