جلسات مع نفسي 07 ... المُدخَلات: ما هي؟ وما قصتها؟ وما علاقتها بالصحة النفسية؟

Dr Abdul Rahman: Welcome. The Host: Welcome back Dr. Dr Abdul Rahman: The second homework. The Host: During the last episode we had

a homework to give examples of inputs. Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes, if you remember.. the question was: Give me examples of inputs you might know or got used to but leaves a negative impact. The Host:Actually, I thought a lot about this

and I found an issue that I don’t have a reason for Which is when I leave to work in the morning,I feel distressed and I can’t stand speaking a word to anyone Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes. The Host: I need them to leave me alone for half an hour. Dr Abdul Rahman: Alright. The Host: I thought about it and found that when I leave home and commute to work I ride an overly crowded car packed with so many passengers So I sit irritated until I reach the next station. Dr Abdul Rahman: Nice, not the fact that you are annoyed but it’s nice that you paused at this input. The Host: And after that, there is specific place on the road with heavy traffic so we need around an hour for a 2KM journey. Dr Abdul Rahman: Nice. The Host: So I felt that after this, it is natural that I reach work suffocated, annoyed and in need to sit down alone. Dr Abdul Rahman: Alright, an excellent example. However, I will pause at the word “It is natural that I reach….” No, this is not natural. The Host: So all these introductions are not supposed

to have a negative impact on me? Dr Abdul Rahman: Not necessarily, one of the things we will learn is how to let the same matters that used to make you angry, furious etc pass by you without causing these problems Because the inputs entered through different processes

producing different outputs, clear? The typical example that we use, you find two on the same street: One angry and the other walking calmly And is listening to the radio or a recorded tape, CD or etc.. alright? Why? Aren't they in the same place and technically have the same inputs. But the output was different. The Host:The reason? Dr Abdul Rahman: Here comes the processes… All the work that we started in “Read” is all about the processes. How can you work around these inputs differently to produce different outputs. The Host: Alright, we learnt last time the terms that are related to inputs. Dr Abdul Rahman: Inputs, processes and outputs The Host: How are these related to “Read”? Dr Abdul Rahman: Nice, as usual we said there is a specific approach and this approach in “Fiqh Al Nafs” starts with knowing the term “Read”.What does it mean?

What does the word “reading” mean? Reading linguistically means to gather And they said reading is the grouping of the word from its letters So the word reading means that you group scattered and dispersed things So you can form a good sentence, alright? This word we will come back to it-I think after a few sessions- And tie it to an important word which is “Reasoning” Because reasoning linguistically means to gather, hold and associate Therefore “Read” is like saying “Reason” So reading is to not look at things in

a dispersed, scattered and dissociated way. No, you look at the thing and assemble it altogether. That is why if you notice most of toys we give kids are based on reasoning

based on assembly. People that have kids bring them particular toys For example.. you find things scattered like lego pieces and the kid assembles it and builds things that are symmetrical,

harmonious and coherent and this leads to that… and this is connected to this..

This is all a reasoning process We are familiarising and training our kids to reason at a young age. The questions people often ask: “Alright, as long as

“Read” addresses inputs and how to deal with them, But does everyone do this?

Actually yes People do it either consciously or unconsciously...alright?! But most pass by this, because if someone came and said to you:

“So and so said this about you” You say: Wait a second..where did you get this from? You know that pause you just did?!

This is an attempt to reason. Because you don't want to produce an “output”

I mean the behaviour of judging a person. No, you first pause and say “hold on a second”.

“When did you see him?” “And what was the context? Was he in a bad mood? Alright, did you tell him what I said before this?” What are you doing here?

You are actually taking a step back from the scene And expanding the circle and looking at at a larger circle

This is the process of reading, right? The Host: But Dr. this means that the amount of inputs entering Or the things that impact a person throughout the day is extremely huge! Dr Abdul Rahman: It’s almost uncountable. The Host: Are we going to focus on all of this? Dr Abdul Rahman: Nice, the question that I always ask people, I say to the people in front of me in the hall during a training workshop “How many of you drive a car?”

Most raise their hand, excellent.. “How many of those raising their hands are physicists?”

You say what is the connection? I say excellent. When you drove a car you didn't have to be a physicist But you took from physics what you need in order to drive the car safely I want you to do the same thing! The Host: How? Dr Abdul Rahman: Pause at the inputs that make you drive your life safely. What is happening to our youth today?

They pause at lame things! And when it comes to the matters that make driving his life safer,

they know nothing about them for example you find him stopping you while you are standing in line together at the shop or somewhere “Where did you get this phone from?” "Where did you get this phone cover from?!” He pauses at this! But he doesn't pause when he sees you as a calm balanced person He doesn't come to you and say: “Excuse me, I like your quietness!” “Where did you train?” Do you read the Quran or what? Do you do Yoga or what? This does not make us pause! So we unfortunately pause at inputs that are useless Instead of inputs that we are supposed to pause at Like a lot of what is happening in the media that passes by us

and our kids and we don't pause at all! So in short, the inputs are many? Yes. Does that mean that I have to pause at all of them? No, but this begs you to know who you are

and what you want So you know your priorities, based on which [...] For example once I was at a book exhibition so I heard voices behind me And I estimated it was coming out from a 13-14 year old girl One saying to the other: “OMG, I finally found it!” I mean something like that So I looked and saw three girls that are indeed 13-14 year old at most looking at a lot of lame novels All of them are bad! Alright?! So I went and told her… excuse me you are very happy What did you find exactly?! Of course I didn't say this suddenly I introduced myself as so-and-so doing this and that.. so that I break the ice I told her: Do you know that if you were to read this novel it's possible that you will indulge yourself in it without leaving

it because you are not ready! Do you know that there is a chance of impersonating any character and getting depressed! So they were (surprised)! I told them: Clearly from your reaction, you are not capable

of defending your decisions which shows lack of decision making Ask the same person: Ask her if someone told her she was oppressed! Islam deceived you and the Hijab is not obligatory! Men and women should be equal in the inheritance, will you be able to respond to him?! “No” Will this novel help you in answering him?! No. How’s your psychological well-being?!.... She’s gone! The Host: Dr. this means that our life revolves around the received inputs…. Dr Abdul Rahman: It revolves around the way we deal with.... The Host: Degree of dealing with... Dr Abdul Rahman: Many inputs! The Host: Alright, shall we pause a little at the inputs? What are they, its story and its degree of seriousness! Dr Abdul Rahman: Let’s define it again… a definition we previously said Inputs are everything that passes by us Everything the sensory system captures and we are talking about billions of inputs daily Alright?! So this makes dealing with inputs difficult Because you cannot keep up with all of them….. There a study that says: If you were to live in a middle sized city You will come across at least seven hundred to eight hundred advertisements daily! The Host: Really! Dr Abdul Rahman: Yes. The Host: In a day. Dr Abdul Rahman: In a day! Whereas, if you were to live in one of the busy cities Like Singapore, Hong Kong, New York or Dubai You will come across a hundred thousand to two hundred thousand advertisements that will pass by you without you noticing them or their effect! As a result, inputs first are everything the sensory system receives Which makes the amount insurmountable but here is the problem: Do you have the capabilities to deal with them all?! I picture inputs to people as guests! You receive a million guests Do you have the capability of dealing with them all? Seating each one in a place Giving each their share of hospitality… Or will you focus on some and ignore others? Those that you ignored can come in And occupy an important seat without you realising In summary, the danger of these inputs is in its numbers... ... it can bring along a lot of things without you realising You might develop affinity without feeling it! I will give you a simple example... If someone came up to you twenty or thirty years ago and said: You will come across a day in Ramadan where you will find

indecently clothed people on screens! And dancers dancing in public spaces! And hookahs’ present on the street And people not praying taraweeh as much as they attend the cafes and what not! Will you believe him? You would have told him….

brother what are these negative presumptions?! Brother, I swear by Allah that this Ummah has good in it And after that?! Where are we now?

And what brought people to this point? Developing affinity to inputs! They became so many that

they reached a point of fondness When a lady joins one of the workshops and frustratedly says: Dr. you speak a lot

about nudity and similar topics What is the problem if I were to wear shorts in the house?! I ask her: in the house with who? Your sons and daughters are present?! …. Yes, what’s the problem?! What?! The problem?! Do you understand what you’re saying?! What happened to this woman?! She has come across many scenes of nudity

in shows and movies to the degree of Being as if she was saying: Dr. thank god

that I did not take off my clothes in the street. Because I am taking off my clothes at home, this means you should

allow me into heaven! Why is that?! She has developed affinity to these inputs to the point

where she sees what she is doing is the norm... Similar to when a girl thinks there is no problem with tight shirts and jeans Because she thinks that nudity means wearing pants above the knee or explicit clothes! But she is not aware of being scantily dressed! When our men reach to a point where they wear Saggy pants with revealing underwear from behind! How did he reach that illogical conclusion?! Affinity to these inputs The Host: Is that because he observes it frequently in TV shows, movies and the streets! Dr Abdul Rahman: He sees it once, twice, thrice, four, five, six, ten,hundred times till he becomes that! How did our men reach to a point of naturally cursing his friend’s mother or sister jokingly! Why? Affinity to inputs! Ask him: will you accept receiving

these insults from friends with your mother next to you?! The Host: Of course not! Dr Abdul Rahman: He will tell you: No! Then why are you doing it?! Affinity to inputs! How did we reach to a point where Muslim journalists When wanting to joke about politics He displays media scenes from people he himself dislikes! Because he is became used to movies to the point of it becoming the common language between him and the audience So he starts using scenes from people he perceives as immoral,indecent but displays it due to necessity! and rhythm! And whatnot! Due to affinity! ! I recall that we reached a point

Where the Friday sermon speaker would bring up jokes from actors And would curse them the following Friday! How can you reach that point?!

Normalisation... The problem with inputs

is that it can drag you to [….] By the way, this is what parents fall into when raising children They are not perceptive to the inputs in the house: Pictures, Media, Barbies, dolls, The pictures existent everywhere where the child becomes accustomed to it…. And later bring him to the clinic: Dr. my son does not listen to me And I do not know why! My son is used to…. Looks like this situation will take a while…. I think we will need…. The Host: The inputs need…. Dr Abdul Rahman: Looks like we need another session for this discussion Because when we talked

about the issue of upbringing I felt like we need to dissect it more The Host: But from this session,

we can learn the general harmful effects of inputs Dr Abdul Rahman: Overall…. its large numbers distract us The psychological distress it causes unconsciously It does not enter alone but brings with it many other connections and negatives.. and one of the most important harmful effect is on memory Where you come across a young man that hasn't reached

his twenties and he has “Alzheimer” I don't mean it as a diagnosis. The Host :He forgets a lot. Dr Abdul Rahman: He forgets a lot due to the numerous inputs that occupy a part of his memory without him feeling, until further notice... The Host: Inshallah, thank you Dr. Dr Abdul Rahman: You’re welcome, You’re Welcome.