جلسات #مع_نفسي 04 ... بين التنمية البشرية وفقه النفس

Dr AbdulRahman: Welcome Host: Welcome Doctor Dr AbdulRahman:

Apologies for the very quick

session yesterday Host: Yes,

it was somewhat quick Dr AbdulRahman: But you know, sometimes the clinic is under the control of many factors especially when there are appointments after this one I remember there was a topic

we did not cover or answer regarding Personal Development

and Coaching during our last session Host: That’s right

There was a question

I couldn’t ask last time Dr AbdulRahman:Yes Host: I wanted to know the difference between what we will hear in the upcoming sessions or during these sessions

and Personal Development and Coaching? What is the difference between them? Dr AbdulRahman:Yesterday

we shed light on a point which made me think

I had said everything about this topic

So I assumed

the point was made First, there is a scientific method or we assume there is one Whereas human development is mostly based on inspirations on popular words just because it came from “Top Selling” books the fame and spotlight, followers, likes, subscriptions and so on….. This is not a scientific method, not a scientific method. So first: The scientific method Second: Evidence-based benefits Host:Yes Dr AbdulRahman:I undertook and published material while I was in Dubai, where I followed people whom I called “Victims of Personal Development” You find that

when he went on stage with the coach who asked him:“How are you?

Did you see how your knee pain is gone?” I follow up on him for two or three days then I ask him:

-“Come here, how's the pain?” -“Is it still there?”

-“Did you not say it was gone?” -“No I swear, the pain

was reduced at that time” -“Of course, that is because you have something called endorphins that were secreted when the coach did what he did” and these endorphins relieve the pain temporarily but then it comes back.” The disaster is when you ask him “Alright….did you go back to the charlatan and inform him that the pain isn’t gone?” Do you know

what most of them tell me? “Man, let him make a living” Host:Really?! Dr AbdulRahman: I swear there are people who told me

“Let him make a living” Do you not have a problem that others are being deceived? As if his mindset is “Was I not deceived? So should the others” Some of them would say that if we went back to them [the charlatans] they’d tell us:

“No, you were not focusing but if you were to concentrate….etc.” Just like one of the

many charlatans on Egyptian satellite channels A woman spoke to him telling him “I did exactly what you said yet I couldn’t use telepathy with my son” Do you know what he told her?

“Purify your intentions” Using which scientific instrument do you measure “Purifying my intentions? ”?!!

What do I create? What do I do? Anyways, the two factors are the scientific method and the evidence-based effect. We assume that these two things differentiate what we have to say and what relates to any Psychological school of thought from “Personal Development” Host:So in sha Allah we will see the differences during our talks in these sessions? Dr AbdulRahman: Supposedly

yes in sha Allah Host:These differences are measurable then? Dr AbdulRahman: You know?! Maybe the most important difference that people might notice is what? Host:What? Dr AbdulRahman: Personal Development and coaching plays on the audience’s emotions and that is not the case

here at all with my content Meaning that an individual who speaks scientifically

does not take into account the audiences’ satisfaction So I say what I have God forbid, if someone comes to me with cancer

I will tell him “You have cancer” And not “You have something if you imagine it...”etc. You have cancer so come and let’s deal with this cancer You find Personal Development coaches, except very few,

during a training session with you would say “I respect your viewpoint…. and what you have said is the best” And then he answers back with a completely irrelevant answer!

Then how do you respect my viewpoint?! Host:But is it not a way of encouragement? Dr AbdulRahman: The language they always use is that of motivation, encouragement, positivity and positive psychology But in reality there are many with whom I have personally dealt with At times of need a dire situations, they show their worst behavior and their worst manner….etc Then where was the smile

that was on the satellite channels and stages? It was all just talk! Other than those exposed to have lied to people Even in the case

of the knowledge they provide There are those that attribute the knowledge to themselves

when it’s not theirs and those --- I warned before that many of them do not have accreditations Someone wrote in his own biography. That he coached more than eight hundred thousand people in several years… If you do the math, it shows that the guy coaches

600 people every day… Meaning that he doesn't sleep or do anything else and is not married….. And unfortunately

people believe this Host:Does that mean we can categorize leadership training, development programs and similar programs within Personal Development? or a part of it? Dr AbdulRahman: Alright, look here sir Far from the definition

that you’ve used and to avoid conflict with some people whom we are supposedly on good terms with But yes.... many unfortunately

do have ties with Personal Development Even if those that preach assume they are far from

Personal development Much of the material,

but not all Because unfortunately many of these programs invite advocates of scientific knowledge and put them together with advocates of Personal Development And so the two appear as one mix Host:Like a mixture Dr AbdulRahman: Which is why personally And this is the advice I give to trainers and people that deal with them… When you are invited to a training session or gathering. Ask: “Will there be someone with me?” And it's your right to know who Because this happened to me when I was invited to a course along with a few other Coaches and I did not ask And I was criticising Personal Development and Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Law of Attraction and Biofield therapy and Reiki… etc. And the audience was laughing and looking at each other

“What is it?” Apparently, the coach of the previous day. Was an advocate of these topics So I learned a lesson about the importance of asking

so that I can be harmonious

with those around me Host:I asked this question to understand if there are any areas of overlap between Personal Development and Coaching and the subject that we would be covering today,

or points that are completely disjoint and we cannot... Dr AbdulRahman: Brilliant, do you remember that we mentioned that Personal Development and Coaching has pros and cons? Host:Yes Dr AbdulRahman:

And we defined Charlatanry as mixing truthful matters with false matters and packaging

them as one entity Yes, you won’t find a person of falsehood coming up to you and saying “By the way, I am wrong, what do you think?’ Of course not He will present falsehood

sprinkled with a bit of truth He will tell you

“Studies have proven... Where is this “Study”?

It does not exist But he says “Studies have shown…”and he attributes it to, as I always say, ghosts! and he says

“They say…I was said…” Who are “They”?

Son, who are they who say this? At least tell me the institution’s name so I know? One of the famous ones would say: “ I was a hotel manager at..” Tell me what is the hotel’s name

so I can verify whether you worked there or not… So definitely there will be matters that would overlap As we go along we will tell people what the Scientific Method means and how we can know if what we hear is correct or incorrect and how can you judge? This way you could judge by yourself if what I am saying is a science or not basically Host: Can we consider “Personal Development and Coaching” as a psychological school that belongs to other psychological schools or is it something different? Dr AbdulRahman: If we say “Psychological Schools” as in “Academic Psychological Schools” that are recognized, then of course not! Personal Development and Coaching-funnily enough-

"is not even recognized in any university in the world! In the world..This means “Neuro-Linguistic Programming”.. For example, it has reached a point in America that some specialists have rejected

“Personal Development and Coaching” several times and eventually released an order that it is a form of chartlanatry and it is being marketed to us here [in the Arab World] that it is…. Host:Even though the claim is that this [Personal Development and Coaching] originated from there [the West] Dr AbdulRahman: By the way, so that the matter is clear to you,

in Personal Development and Coaching.. or-sorry- in America Walking on the streets of San Francisco, you would find a long line of people.. What are they doing?

They’re waiting for someone to read their palms What do you

think of the West? The whole market [of PD]

was imported from there and so was science So we should not think

that these Westerners all follow the scientific method and that even a little child there is very knowledgeable..etc.. Of course not You will find some people at palm readers and some at fortune tellers with crystal balls and so on.. and the famous book,

“The Secret”, where

did it become popular? It spread in America before spreading here Most of the things that appeared from what we call

“The New Age Movement” it spread in Europe and North America before reaching us Host: Splendid Dr AbdulRahman: So the question “Is Personal Development and Coaching a Psychological School?” Of course it isn't. The well-known psychological schools are for Cognitive-Behavioral, Humanistic, Freud’s School or Psychoanalytical for example, and more recently, Positive Psychology, Gestalt

These are schools that are taught in colleges, these are academies. Whereas Personal Development and Coaching unfortunately, or rather fortunately, isn't Host: However the material covered in the upcoming sessions goes under these schools or is it extracted from them? Dr AbdulRahman: Most of it from these psychological schools

and some of it isn’t Some of it is grounded

in Islamic sharia and it definitely aligns

with a lot of what is

stated in Psychology But beware, not everything said

in Modern Psychology

is accepted by us as it originated from a different culture and from schools that do not believe in spirituality perhaps, so it contains

unacceptable matters so we will try to take matters that according to us are “Scientific” but what does “Scientific” mean? We will speak about this in a separate session Host: and does it

have a specific name? Dr AbdulRahman:

What is it? Host: The material

that we will cover Dr AbdulRahman:

It is called “Fiqh Al-Nafs"

[Doctrine of The Self] I thought I said it before now I mentioned it once or twice

It is called “Fiqh Al-Nafs” Host:“Doctrine of The Self” or “Science of The Self” [i.e. Psychology]? Dr AbdulRahman: Yes, the difference between “Doctrine of The Self” and “Science of The Self [i.e. Psychology] is the word “Fiqh”[Doctrine]

meaning the gradual effort in seeking knowledge It does not contain the arrogance of “Science of The Self”,

as if you know yourself Host: Yes Dr AbdulRahman:

The Human being

barely knows himself Host: Then what I understand from this is no matter how much you seek to discover yourself, Dr AbdulRahman: Precisely there is something new everyday. The second point is that the word “fiqh” [Doctrine] implies that it is grounded in Sharia Because the word “fiqh” for us [Muslims] is related to “Al-Fiqh” therefore it means that it is taken from divine revelation Unfortunately, Psychology is always associated with “Western Science" thinking that whoever is ignorant of it is ignorant of his self Even though they still float the orbit of the "Self" and are not familiar with it. The second point is that the term “Psychology”, unfortunately, has a bit of an inferiority complex in that when we always talk about “Psychology” then it is nothing from us [Muslims] and it is only they [West] who have the knowledge “Fiqh Al-Nafs” [Doctrine of The Self] pays tribute to our heritage without alienating

the westren elements Basically, you take from the westren elements what does not go against your religion Host: How did we

reach “Fiqh Al Nafs”? I mean what made Dr. AbdulRahman gather this group and base it on

an Islamic foundation to come out with

a subject called “Fiqh Al Nafs”? Dr AbdulRahman: No, I need to

talk to you about this

in another session; about the idea and how the idea of “Fiqh Al Nafs” was formed and more specifically how it was formed with AbdulRahman? Even though there are others besides AbdulRahman who we assume are good and talk about something that is very close to the concept of “Fiqh Al Nafs” But no, you need another session,

perhaps tomorrow in sha Allah to speak about where

did the whole idea of

Fiqh Al Nafs come from and how did it develop

into what it is today So by your permission, I hope we can continue tomorrow in sha Allah Host: In sha Allah

Thank you Doctor Dr AbdulRahman:

You are welcome

Jazakum Allah Khairan